“Was she hurt badly?” I asked with concern. Had the doctor even checked on her?
“She had a small cut on her head and some scrapes and bruises, but nothing serious. She was just so afraid though. It was so unlike her, the way she was clinging to me. She wasn’t even like that with me when she was tiny. I just didn’t know what to do.”
“You did the right thing staying with her, Rafe. It was my fault she blew up like that. I’m not sure why, but clearly me being here is upsetting her a lot,” I pointed out.
“Well, she’ll have to get used to it, because you are not going anywhere, Cara. Do you hear me? You belong here just as much as Gia does, and I don’t want you getting any wild ideas about leaving,” Rafe said pointedly.
“Don’t be ridiculous, Rafe. Gia has lived here for most of her life. She belongs here a lot more than I do, and she’s still a child. If my being here is causing her as much distress as it did last night, then I’ll have to leave. I’m an adult. I’ll be fine,” I explained stubbornly. It was the truth, even if the idea of having to leave that house, where I had found some peace and safety, hurt more than I would ever admit.
“No one is leaving. It’s not safe, You both need to stay here where we can protect you,” Dante decreed with a finality I’m sure he felt would bring it all to an end.
“Let’s just see how things are this morning. Like we said, I’m sure Gia will be calmer once she’s sobered up,” Cal suggested.
I decided to table the discussion for the time being, and instead started eating. Cal had put my arm back in the sling, so I couldn’t use it even if I wanted to try, and I was struggling with anything I couldn’t cut with my fork. Still, the food was amazing as always and I started to feel better with every bite I took.
Everyone went pretty quiet as they tucked in too. It had been a long night for everyone, and we hadn’t eaten dinner the evening before either. We were all famished.
I had put away entirely too much food by the time common sense told me to call it quits – having eaten almost the entire, enormous plate of bacon, sausage, egg, and toast that Arran had served up for me. I groaned as I sat back in the seat and rubbed at my stomach which was aching already.
“Ye alright, Cara?” Arran asked. I glanced up at him and found not just him watching and waiting for my answer, but all of the guys.
“Sorry,” I said with some embarrassment. I hadn’t meant to make that sound so loudly, or even out loud at all. “I just ate too much. I’m not used to it, but it was so good. I hope one of you is feeling up to prising me out of this seat and rolling me through the house,” I joked as I smiled and looked between them.
“What do you mean by not being used to it? You didn’t even eat that much,” Rafe questioned.
“It doesn’t matter,” I told him with a shake of my head. He was exhausted and dealing with enough that morning, without hearing any of my sob story.
“It matters to me. You didn’t eat properly before? In Chicago?”
“Money was tight,” I shrugged, then regretted it instantly as my shoulder started to throb again. “I certainly never got to eat like this.”
“What about Mum?” he asked.
“I always made sure she had food, Rafe. It wasn’t healthy, and by the end she couldn’t really prepare anything for herself, but I swear she always had food available…something she could get for herself. Usually dry cereal. But I did cook hot food for her too when I…”
“Cara. Stop, sweetheart. I didn’t mean that. I know you did everything you could to take care of Mum, even though she absolutely did not deserve it. I was asking why Mum didn’t do more to make sure you ate better.”
I nodded and took a breath. Guilt rode me hard at just the mention of my Mum, and when Rafe had asked, I had just assumed he had seen my failure towards her as keenly as I felt it.
“I told you, she was out of her mind by the end, Rafe. If I hadn’t have brought food, she wouldn’t have eaten, and likely would have starved to death. I’m not even sure she knew fully who I was during the last few months,” I explained.
“And before that?” he pushed.
I sighed deeply, realising Rafe wasn’t going to let this drop.
“You know what she was – an addict. Drugs and alcohol were her only real concerns. I survived though. I’m here now. There’s no use in continuously re-hashing the past.”
“I know,” he nodded. “But I just…she needed to eat too. I just assumed…I thought she would have at least provided food for you.”
“She did sometimes. Other times were tougher, but it was fine,” I lied. I just wanted him to drop the subject. I had already put him through the ringer, and now Gia was acting up even more than usual. The last thing he needed was to go looking for more guilt to plant on his shoulders, all for things he couldn’t have changed.
“It wasn’t fine. Cara!” he snapped, his sharp, almost shouted words making me jolt in shock.
“Rafe,” Dante reprimanded.
“He’s no’ mad wi’ you, lass. You’re alright,” Arran soothed, leaning in close and wrapping his arm around my shoulders.
“I…I know,” I agreed, but my voice wavered as I kept my eyes on Rafe. His fist was clenched, sitting on the counter before him, and he was taking deep breaths, like he was trying to calm himself. I wasn’t scared of him. I had confidence my brother would not hurt me, but I felt wary of him. I had never seen him look that angry or…unsteady. He looked like he was the one standing at the precipice of a cliff that morning, and I was desperate to find a way to pull him back from it.
