"Then what am I?"
Sasha set down her brandy and leaned forward. "You're someone who loves his family and wants them to be happy. But Ambrose, this isn't the way to do it."
"Isn't it? For once in my life, I'm the good grandson. I'm bringing home a girlfriend, making Grandmother happy, not being the family disappointment. It feels good. Whilst all the time equally feeling awful."
"You're not the family disappointment."
"Aren't I? I told you, Victoria's the golden child with her perfect career. Archie's got the estate to inherit. Sophie's got her veterinary dreams all mapped out. And I'm the one who… who doesn’t have anything."
"You have a job," Sasha said, because he did. He worked for a start up and disappeared every morning with a power shake and a foldable bike.
"Other than that."
Sasha felt her heart clench. "Is that really what you think?"
"It's what I know." Ambrose took a large sip of brandy. "Do you know what my father said to me last Christmas? He said he hoped I'd find my direction soon because watching me drift through life was 'concerning.'"
"Your father's an arse." Which she didn’t truly believe. Sir Archibald seemed like a softie to her.
"My father's practical. And he's not wrong."
Sasha reached over and grabbed Ambrose's hand. "Listen to me. You are kind, and funny, and loyal, and you make everyone around you feel comfortable and loved. You're not drifting through life, you have a job that you like, and one day, you’ll fall in love and have a family."
"And what if what makes me happy isn't acceptable to my family?"
"Then that's their problem, not yours." Sasha squeezed his hand. "Ambrose, your grandmother isn't going to drop dead ifshe finds out you're gay. And if she does disown you for it, then she's not worth keeping happy."
Ambrose was quiet for a long moment, staring out at the darkened gardens. "I know you're right," he said finally. "Although I’m not sure she won’t disinherit the entire family, not just me. I just… I want to be the good son for once. Just once."
"You are a good son. Being gay doesn't make you any less good."
"Doesn't it? Grandmother's always talking about carrying on the family name, about duty and proper marriages…"
"And you have three siblings. Let one of them carry on the precious family name." Sasha grinned. "Besides, have you met Archie's taste in women? You might be doing the gene pool a favor."
That got a laugh out of him. "Tiffany did ask if we could change the table decorations to match her nail polish."
"See? If Archie marries someone like that, you'll practically be a saint by comparison."
Ambrose smiled, the first genuine smile she'd seen from him all evening. "So what do you suggest I do? Announce it at breakfast tomorrow? 'Good morning, Grandmother, I'm gay and I've been lying to you for years?'"
"God, no. That would give the poor woman indigestion." Sasha considered this. "What about the house party? You said there's always a big gathering at the end of the holiday. Do it then, when everyone's relaxed and happy."
"And if it goes badly?"
"Then at least everyone will be drunk enough to handle it gracefully."
Ambrose laughed again, and Sasha felt some of the tension leave his shoulders. "You really think I should do it?"
"I think you should stop living your life for other people and start living it for yourself." She paused. "But if you want to waituntil the house party, I'll keep up the charade until then. On one condition."
"What's that?"
"You stop calling yourself a disappointment. You're not. You're just... finding your way. We both are."
Ambrose looked at her with the sort of affection that made her chest tight. "What did I do to deserve a friend like you?"
"You let me move in when I needed a place to live, and you didn't judge me for having no idea what I wanted to do with my life."
