After a meal that was surprisingly hearty without any meat, Aric led us to our rooms. They were located side by side, Stefano and Joris situated just down the hallway.
“A hot bath was drawn for you both,” Aric informed us.
Thank the Domus.I hadn’t fully bathed since we left the Citadel in Fourth. Honestly, I couldn’t believe Aric had flirted with me while I smelled and looked as I did.
Which was absolutely haggard.
I moved to open the door, but Harthon caught my arm and swept me behind him, entering first. Perhaps he expected Torr to be there with a sharp, ready weapon. Of course, he wasn’t.
Aric didn’t miss the gesture. “Your rooms are connected with an inner door, in case you feel the need to guard her.”
If I was themagvis, I wouldn’t need guarding, dammit.
“You can leave us now. I’ll rejoin you within the hour.” Harthon dismissed him, eyes methodically noting every detail of the large room, from the iron poker by the flames to the window across from us.
The moment the door closed behind us, I tore away from him. “He already suspects I’m not themagvis.That didn’t help.”
He finished examining the room before turning leisurely toward me. “Your safety is more important than his opinions.”
“If he was going to kill us, he would have done it already.”
“Perhaps. But we can’t be certain.”
I waved to the door. “I’m pretty sure he’s half in love with me, or at the very least wishes to see me naked. I think I’m safe for now. I would be more concerned with your own safety than mine.”
Every line of his body hardened. “Attraction is irrelevant to safety.”
“I don’t think that’s the case here.”
I didn’t know what my goal was. To get him to admit he was wrong? To release my pent-up frustration?
Whatever it was, I achieved something else, because he suddenly snapped. He took a menacing step forward, the cords of his neck straining against his skin. All the apathy he’d shown earlier was replaced by something wild. “A man can flirt while imagining how best to kill you,” he articulated. “Though given your inexperience, I wouldn’t expect you to know that.”
It was that completely unnecessary addition that did it.
“You mean like how you flirt with me and touch me, all while planning to give me nothing but a cold shoulder?”
His eyes widened a fraction, but otherwise, he remained stock still.
That moment from the cabin, the distance he’d shoved between us, ballooned into something bigger. I began to shake, a mess of volatile emotions wrapping bands around my chest. Itwas even more consuming than when I’d seen his spiraled scar, and I knew why.
Because what could beat the pain of betrayal, but the death of hope? Ever since my conversation with Ana, ever since that stupid dance, I’d allowed myself to believe a new truth. That he cared for me, and that it was okay to fall over the precipice.
Domus knew I cared forhim.
A rawness splintered through his mean expression, but it was sealed away so fast I might have imagined it.
“As I’ve told you before, several times, I amnota good man,” he sneered. “You heard what Aric said. I’ve caused a lot of people terrible pain.”
Even in all my damned hurt, I couldn’t stand to see him bear that weight. What did that say about me?
One more step, and he loomed over me, this man I’d come to crave, who had so many juxtapositions, yet managed to be better than he’d ever give himself credit for.
“I am not someone you give your heart to, Etarla.” His words were quiet, but he might as well have screamed them in my face. That was the force they struck me with. “It is my fault for not realizing you’re too naïve to know this.”
Chapter 20
Ididn’t cry. Not a single, damned tear.
