Arms full, I pivoted to see Stefano, bread and dried meat in his hands. Harthon had described Stefano’s skill, but his precision with the knife today still surprised me. He easily flustered around me, but he was apparently rather deadly.
“No,” I answered. The events of the day had eliminated my appetite. When he looked like he was going to object, I quickly added, “It’s only because I’m not hungry. Tomorrow, I’ll eat.”
Based on what happened the last time I refused his food, I couldn’t blame him for worrying.
He nodded cautiously. “If you change your mind, let me know.”
I offered a small smile of thanks before stepping around him. The fire already rose high, but the heat didn’t travel far, the frigid wind sucking away any warmth that left the flames. Knowing I wouldn’t be warm unless I was in the fire itself, I drifted to the edge of the group, picking around a few of our men who already slept. If I couldn’t benefit from heat, I may as well distance myself from their blaring snores.
Burrowing beneath the blanket, I closed my eyes, willing my body not to shiver. As my limbs shuddered, I knew it was impossible. Thanks to the wind, tonight was far colder than any I’d spent sleeping outdoors. I tucked the scratchy blanket over my head and curled into a ball, focusing on the small heat that built between my thighs and belly as cold encased my back. I stayed that way, sleep far away, until the sounds of movement dwindled. My teeth chattered uncontrollably, and I wrapped my arms over my face, knowing it was a futile effort.
My clamoring teeth were the reason I didn’t hear him approach.
“You’re cold.” Harthon’s bass rumbled from outside of the blanket.
I didn’t move. “N-no I-I’m not.”
“Your chattering teeth are keeping me awake.”
“Th-then y-your hearing is t-too good. N-not my problem,” I managed through numb lips. I willed him to go away, to leave me alone in my misery.
Of course, he didn’t. He’d likely come to yell at me more. To blame me for the boy and remind me that I’d killed today. Skies, how I yearned for sleep to take me away.
I rolled my eyes as I heard the rustling of fabric. Something flimsy brushed against the blanket at my back. Then the blanket was pulled off my head.
I flipped over in an explosion of panic. “You j-just m-made me lose all of m-my heat!” I hissed, frustrated tears flooding my eyes. I was too cold to attempt to stem them, and I’d forever be too cold because I would never, ever be close to warm now.
“There was no heat to lose,” Harthon replied. From his sleeping mat. Where he lay propped up on an arm beside me.
I met his sardonic gaze and watched in horror as his eyes widened just so, no doubt noticing the water in my eyes. His features softened, and I spun back around, mortification battling the miserable cold for attention.
“Come here,” he said softly.
“N-n-no.”
Ignoring me, his arm snaked around my waist, pulling me to the edge of my mat and into his solid length.
His body heat was food to a starving man, the warmth my body had desperately sought, and now that I had it, I couldn’t pull away. It was basic need that kept any further protests from my tongue. That arm tightened, and his knees curled behind mine as my head nestled beneath his chin. My muscles still quaked, but with his blanketing heat, it would be over soon.
“Better?” His chest vibrated along my back.
Euphoric. Incredible. “F-fine.”
His hand rubbed the length of my arm, friction building more of that delicious warmth. “I was an ass earlier.”
It took a moment for his words to register.
I should have shoved his implied apology back in his face. But maybe it was the cold or my general misery that eliminated my fight and made me ask, “How c-could I have known a-about the boy?”
“You couldn’t have,” he assured. “And it wasn’t just him I was angry about. You could have been harmed.”
“Y-youcould have b-been harmed,” I pointed out.
A soft exhale stirred my hair. “I appreciate the thought, but don’t do something like that again.”
“I c-can’t promise that.” And,skies, I wish I knew why.
I should hate Harthon, despise him and wish him dead for dragging me out of my life and into his plans. I did at first, and I’d thought it hadn’t changed. But in the hours we’d spent on horseback, it’d dawned that, when I jumped from the horse to save him, it wasn’t because I needed him alive to protect me.
