“When Harthon finds out, he’ll kill you.” It wasn’t a question; it was a statement. I didn’t want Jac to die. He didn’t deserve it. He was merely a victim. But Harthon would find out, most likely from Stefano.
“I know,” was Jac’s resigned response, and part of my chest ached. Jac was a good man—not one who deserved to hang from the Citadel’s walls. But that’s what would happen. “Now follow my lead and don’t give anything away, or we’ll both see the ones we love suffer.”
Schooling my features, I dutifully followed Jac, who veered away from the field we usually trained in and took us to the Citadel’s streets. Jac greeted soldiers as we went—a common occurrence, given that he ranked above most due to his skill and seniority. He somehow appeared perfectly at ease, and we were at the Citadel’s gate too soon.
Jac greeted the lead guard, who was younger than him.
“I can’t let themagvisthrough,” the man said.
Harthon really had told everyone but me that I wasn’t to leave.
“Not on her own. But she’s with me,” Jac replied, his tone light.
The guard set his shoulders back. “I’m sorry, but those are my orders.”
“And who gave you those orders?”
The man cleared his throat. “My lead.”
Jac offered a small smile. “My permission comes directly from Harthon himself, and considering I often give directivestoyour lead, the right decision is to let us pass.” He spoke in his normal kind manner, as if this weren’t any inconvenienceat all.
The guard considered this for a long moment, doubt and duty warring across his features. “I should confirm with them.”
“Normally, yes. But considering what happened yesterday, Harthon is rather occupied. I doubt he’d appreciate you or your lead asking him about something so simple, especially when I’m the one here. Should you get in trouble, I take responsibility, seeing as I’m your senior.”
This seemed to mollify the man, who gave the signal to open the gate.
Koerlyn had been tactful in targeting Jac. If I were with someone of a lesser rank, this wouldn’t be nearly as simple.
It was far easier exiting the city center’s gates a few minutes later, the guards there seeming to know nothing about my orders to stay put.
“Am I to ride all the way to Third?” I asked, the multi-day journey looming down on me. If I was lucky, I had until this evening before Stefano was discovered and Harthon came for me. Even with a head start, my chances of outrunning him were slim. I would only make it if I skipped any rest and somehow managed to keep pace. Then there was the matter of dodging any of our soldiers who passed through the countryside. They would no doubt question why themagviswas out on her own.
Jac shook his head. “You’ll take a draught, and I’ll bring you to Koerlyn’s men who are waiting nearby.”
I felt no relief. Instead, tendrils of fear snaked out and took hold. All night and morning, I’d been too preoccupied with thoughts of Merelda and how I’d run to remember what captivity with Koerlyn was like. Now, I’d be a captive with detailed information regarding Fourth. Long ago, Harthon had mentioned torture. It’d been more of an airy threat than a real possibility then, but not anymore.
“Where will you go, afterwards?”
“I’ll return.”
“Why would you do that?”
I didn’t know if it was possible to escape Harthon, who would undoubtedly hunt Jac the moment Stefano woke up. But willingly returning to the Citadel was the equivalent of sending a dagger into his own belly.
“I have been with Harthon since he was a boy. I owe it to him.” There was pain in the confession. “And I know that, despite how I’m betraying him, he will ensure my family is safe.”
His betrayal would cut Harthon, and he knew that. It was just another layer of pain and harm piled onto this situation, and there was nothing either of us could do to soften an ounce of it.
We rode in weighted silence until we reached the woods of the hill I’d scaled with Harthon just two days ago. There, Jac produced a vial from beneath his cloak, popped off the cork, and handed it to me.
There is no choice, I reminded myself, and I tipped the vial between my lips.
“I’m sorry, Etarla. You’re braver than most,” Jac said solemnly, watching the emotions that were no doubt splayed on my face as I swallowed the syrupy liquid, sealing my fate.
I took a deep breath and glanced one last time at the city center behind me. “I’m not brave, Jac. I’m desperate. Like you.”
* * *
