I grabbed on to every excuse that I could think of to show him how much I understood how impossible it would be for him to drive me.
Ash was just being kind. This was one of those reflex-type obligation offers that people made because they felt like they had to.
I tucked my chin to my chest, saddened and embarrassed that I’d backed him into a corner by coming to him in the middle of the night.
“Cade, look at me, please.” Ash’s voice was closer than before.
I looked up to see him standing a foot away, not having heard him move in my panicked state.
Slowly, he raised his hands, moving them up toward me. His eyes were laser-focused on mine.
I stayed stock-still, not exactly sure what he intended, but not afraid of anything he might do. I trusted Ash.
Finally, two big, warm hands came to rest on my shoulders.
“Sit, please?” The soft request came with firm, but gentle downward pressure, directing me to sit on the coffee table right behind me.
I sank down, landing with a dull thud as my ass hit the tabletop.
Dropping his hands from my shoulders, Ash’s body immediately mirrored mine until he was kneeling in front of me, those thick thighs stretching the material of his jeans that were only inches from touching my shins.
Even from a foot away, I could smell the clean, salty scent of his skin, reminding me of the warm comfort of waking up on his shoulder that day in his office.
“Cade, listen to me carefully.” Ash reached out once more.
When his hands came up to cup my jaw, my eyes went wide. The callouses on his fingers were rough against my skin, lightly scraping against the two days’ worth of scruff that had accumulated on my face.
Nothing about his touch felt wrong. In fact, was it possible for something to feel too right? Because the way he held my jaw like he could keep the pieces of me together, when all I felt like doing was falling apart, was everything I needed at the moment.
Was there a way to freeze time and just stay in the semi-darkness, smelling the warm, sleep-drenched skin?
I knew without a doubt that Ash would take such good care of me if I could. . . let him. What would it be like to sink into his arms and have him lighten the weight I wore on my shoulders like armor?
A minuscule nod was all I could muster in response. It pushed my cheeks deeper into the warmth of his palms. Despite the heat, a shiver skittered over the skin of my neck where his ring and pinky fingers shifted slightly with my movement.
I gulped down the excess saliva I could feel filling my mouth. The action had Ash’s eyes dropping to my throat for a second, staring intently, before bringing his gaze back to mine.
“I didn’tofferto drive you, Cade. I’m asking you to let me drive you. Please don’t leave me in this room imagining all the things that could go wrong on those unlit highways between here and Sudbury.”
Well, that was a guilt trip that even Kait wouldn’t be able to top.
I opened my mouth to protest, but Ash rubbed his thumb gently over my jawline. The sensations of his skin on mine had me swallowing back whatever I was going to say.
“Uh-uh. No backtracking, please. I care about you. You hear me? I care about you. I can’t have you getting hurt.” He shook his head like he wanted to shake that thought free. “This is not something you should be doing alone. I drove from Lakeside, so I have my old Jeep with me. I’ll have you in Sudbury by morning, in time to see your mom before they take her in.” His gaze never wavered as he laid out his plan.
“But. . .” I tried weakly. It was a shallow protest. The truth was, I didn’t want to face the trip home and the hospital on my own.
I couldn’t remember the last time I felt as safe as I did in this moment with Ash’s hands and attention solely on me. It was like he was literally keeping me together, softly enough that it wouldn’t feel forced. But his hold on my face and the surety of his voice brokered no argument, allowing the anxious parts of me to settle for once, knowing that someone else was taking care of the logistics.
A boulder’s worth of weight fell from my shoulders.
His right thumb stroked my cheek once. . .twice. . .three more times. Such a small movement had no right to feel so damn good that it had my skin breaking out in goosebumps, while a lump of emotion took up residence in my throat.
When was the last time I’d been treated with such care? I blinked quickly a few times to will away the tears as pressure, driven by the same powerful emotions that had stolen my voice, moved behind my eyes.
I was so seriously fucked up to get this worked up over a fucking ride. I couldn’t let Ash see what a disaster I was.
The best thing to do would be to agree and pull myself the fuck together so I could act like a semi-normal person during the drive.
