“Cade. . .” he sighed, his tone soft, causing a swooping feeling in my gut. His golden-brown eyes held a warmth that seemed incongruent with the lecture I was no doubt about to receive.
Why are you noticing the color of his eyes when he’s about to tell you what a shit hockey player you are? He’s here to make you a better player, not take care of you.
My stomach dropped somewhere in the vicinity of my skates as that new thought entered my brain. My mouth opened to fill the silence as if I could preempt hearing the criticism I knew I probably deserved to hear.
“Coach, listen. I promise I’m working hard. I’ll do better with Klein and Brenner. My head will be a hundred percent in the game tomorrow. It’s just—” I spoke quickly, witnessing the intensity of his stare sharpen with each of my words. “I haven’t been sleeping well. Nothing to do with Hawkins and Kovac, of course, they’re great. I’m lucky the captain would allow a rookie to room with them. It’s just. . .”
Asher held up a hand to halt my rambling.
“Cade. When it’s just you and me, ‘Ash’ is more than fine.” He spoke quietly, and the pleased shock inside me probably turned my eyes into saucers. I could only hope he didn’t notice. It took all my control not to shift awkwardly in my seat. “And what do you mean you haven’t been sleeping?”
His eyes travelled over my face, stopping for a few extra seconds on my blazing cheeks, as if he could find an explanation written in my features.
I yanked off my gloves, unable to curb the urge to rub the back of my neck self-consciously.
The ever-present churn of anxiety pressed against my sternum. I hated the pressure to make my too-big feelings palatable for other people. And there was no way in hell I could be honest with Asher—how in the world could I call him Ash? My brain was struggling to understand why he was being so nice to me. It was making me a bit nauseous. No matter how sympathetic he seemed at this moment, he could still share anything I said with Coach Wilder.
No one wanted to hear my actual feelings.
I sighed, exhausted by the mental effort it took to come up with a socially acceptable, bland response to his question.
“Just normal, new team jitters is all.”
My words were accompanied by what I hoped looked like a casual shrug. It was harder to pretend like nothing was wrongwhen Asher Landry was staring at me like he could read the contents of my brain.
Asher shifted closer to me on the bench. He moved close enough that his athletic-pant-covered knee pressed lightly against my knee guards.
Even though I logically couldn’tfeelanything from such a light touch, suddenly my entire system ignited, heat blooming in my veins toward the point of contact between us.
Unable to tear my eyes away from the place where his body met mine, I missed his next words.
“I’m sorry, Ash.” I tested the nickname on my tongue and found that I liked saying it even if it felt weird to be allowed to address him that way. “Can you say that again? I must be more tired than I thought.”
Plastering a fake half-smile on my face, I forced my attention away from the magnetic sight of his knee touching me, up to meet his gaze again.
His eyes widened slightly as he sucked in a deep breath before letting his shoulders release some of the tension in them.
What had he just said that had him reacting that way? Was he trying to let me down easy? That I was going to lose my spot on the team if I didn’t get it together and start meshing with my line?
Ash bit his bottom lip before quickly releasing it from his teeth, leaving it reddened and slick.
Fuck. Stop looking at his mouth and start listening with your goddamn ears!
“I’m going to reschedule the offensive line’s game tape review meeting this afternoon.” With the proximity of our bodies, Ash’s voice had dropped into a deeper, quieter tone. “You’re too tired to take anything in right now, Cade.”
Was he cancelling a team meetingforme orbecauseof me?
My overloaded system wanted to shiver as the low rumble of his tone washed over me.
“But Asher, Ican’tafford to lose any more momentum here. Coach Wilder’s gonna find a way to void my contract or something. I’ve got too much riding on this and. . .” I cut myself off before I blurted out how desperately my family needed the money the team was paying me.
He kept his eyes on my face for a long couple of seconds before pulling out his phone and sending a quick text, then he turned it over to rest on his thigh.
“It’s okay, Cade. But I’m still calling off today’s tape review.”
Ash held up a hand for a second time in our conversation when I opened my mouth to interrupt, compelled to tell him just how not okay my slacking off on the requirements of my contract was.
“I just texted Zane’s assistant to get the message out that this afternoon’s meeting is off.” His tone indicated he wasn’t going to budge on this.
