He glances at Cato again, but Cato only crosses his arms, shoulders thrown back.
Xeni releases a shaky exhale and gestures towards the chairs.“It’s a long story. Can we sit?”
I study him, searching for the cunning he loves to use to his advantage. There’s none of it now, only weariness.
Against every instinct, I nod.
We move to the table, and Xeni sinks into the chair. He rests his face in his palms, then speaks without looking up.
“Ljómur was destroyed because of me.”
“What?” I demand.
He lifts his face and meets my eyes for a second, then looks away. “I met two people… twogoodpeople, then discovered they were mates. They were smart enough to hide it, and I tried to help them. I kept their secret. Eventually, they ran off together, but the new commander had a personal vendetta against one of them.”
He glances up, and I keep my face impassive as I wave for him to continue.
“He was furious they escaped from under his nose, and he started questioning everyone who knew them. If you didn’t have information, you were executed on the spot. And, well… I had information.” He scoffs quietly, shaking his head. “They were gone. I didn’t think it would matter.”
“Youneverlearned that actions matter,” I say with more venom than I intend. “They always matter.”
“I know,” he whispers as he ducks his head, his cheeks flushing. “I never expected to see them again. They weren’t supposed to show up at Ljómur, but they did, and if I hadn’t spoken up…”
He pauses, swallowing again as he glances up at me. “My actions almost cost them everything. If I had just kept my mouthshut, they wouldn’t have known. But Ididn’t,and it was my fault they were in those cages.”
The urge to comfort him crashes over me.
I know him too well.
The careless grin he wears like armor.
The jokes that deflect everything sharp.
Underneath them, Xeni feels too deeply, and carries every wound in silence until it festers. Knowing he was the reason those two people were caged would have torn him apart from the inside.
“The commander didn’t stop there, either,” he continues, fingers fidgeting on the table. “He made me take part in their torture.”
“So, what happened?” I ask, voice softer than he deserves. “How did their capture lead to the place going down in flames?”
Xeni is quiet for a long moment before he shakes his head. “I couldn’t live with what I’d done.”
Jealous anger surges through me, sitting heavy like acid in my stomach and eating away at everything rational.
He couldn’t live with betraying them—thesestrangers, and whatever fragile trust they’d built—but when it came to me, tous,he’d done it with no hesitation, and without a backward glance.
What does that say?
That I wasn’t worth the same conscience?
That the love he claimed was so all-consuming wasn’t enough to stop him from abandoning me?
That I was expendable in a way they never were?
The questions claw at me as the silence thickens. I stare at him, searching for something—regret, understanding,anything—but his face is a mask of quiet resolve, and it only fuels the burn.
He couldn’t live with betraying them.
But he lived just fine after betraying me.
