“What just happened? Where’d you go?”
“I’m here with you,” I say with a soft smile, but it's insincere.
“Xen…”
“Please… ignore me, alright?”
“You know that’s not going to happen, princess.”
He waits as if we have all the time in the world, and his stubbornness kicks in and tells me he’ll sit here all day and wait.
“I… fuck, I don’t want to ruin this,” I say with a sigh. More silence lingers, and eventually it’s too much. “It's just… you said you were ready.”
“I am,” he says, obviously confused.
I shake my head as I push out a frustrated breath. “Right. I shouldn’t be mad about this. It isn’t fair to you, and…”
Bash leans in and presses a kiss on the corner of my mouth. “Sweetheart, you’re going to have to help me here. I don’t know why you’re upset.”
My fingers trace over his cheekbones as I choose my words carefully. “Because you don’t need much prep… which means you’ve been…preppedenough recently to…”
Understanding dawns on his face, but the irritation I expect from my insinuation doesn’t come.
“You want to know why?” he asks.
I bite my lip and glance away. “Not particularly…hey!” I gasp as he leans in to nip my chin.
“Now that you’re paying attention, I need you tolisten. The only reason I said I didn’t need it is because I was pulling a page from your book.”
I peek over. “My book?”
“Yeah,” he chuckles. “I was too eager for you to get inside me to wait any longer.”
I try to form a laugh that turns into a scoff instead.
He leans in and presses a soft kiss to my lips, like he’s afraid he’ll scare me off if he’s too bold. “Xeni, there hasn’t been anyone since you.”
My heart explodes in my chest and leaves me frozen. It’s too much to expect, too much to even wish for, but I’ve always been selfish. My lungs burn as I hold my breath, afraid to let the moment shatter.
Bash flashes me a shy, crooked smile and runs a hand over his hair in that familiar nervous habit. “I won’t lie to you. I tried… for a long time. But they were too familiar or not familiar enough, and I could never bring myself to do it. It always felt—”
“Wrong,” I finish for him.
The word carries the memory of every night I spent alone, empty from each hollow touch that wasn’t his. Each failed attempt to pretend I could ever move on.
A question lingers in his eyes, and it’s vulnerable in a way that makes my chest tighten.
He won’t ask.
Won’t push for the confirmation he’s desperate for, so I offer it to him instead.
“Me neither, Bash. No one could replace you.”
His crooked smile deepens into something real, relief and need mingling as he pulls me closer. His lips find mine again, and his knees fall to bracket my thighs.
More smooth slides of our hips build the heat between us in no time. Slick heat and perfect friction have us both desperatefor more, with my hands clinging to his back while his grip the sheets.
Tension builds in my center and rages outwards, and I tear my lips from his in a plead. “You’re going to make me come too fast.”
