“In Commons as an MP.”
Men were so confusing. “It’s not the same?”
He shook his head. “I’ll explain more later. But if approved, and I’m summoned, it means we can’t be away on an extended wedding trip. Of course, if I was elected to Commons, we would have to limit ourselves anyway.”
Oh, she hadn’t thought about that; everything had happened so quickly. After hearing how much Juliana loved Florence, Anne would have liked to go to Italy. “So we can never go anywhere?”
Colin’s sad smile returned, but that time it didn’t disappear. “If nothing else happens, we could take a belated trip next summer if you like. Or perhaps when the session is out for the winter, although I’d prefer to be home with the girls at Christmastide.”
Anne didn’t want to think of what else might happen to delay or prevent their trip. When thinking of the future, she preferred to dwell on fun, exciting things.
Like more kisses. It was their wedding night, after all. Even if they had become a little overeager and indulged earlier.
She sipped more of her liquidcourage. “Colin?”
Those lovely sea-foam-green eyes met hers. “Hmm?”
“It’s our wedding night.”
He frowned. “Yes.”
“Aren’t we supposed to, you know?”
He placed his drink down and took her hands. “You’ll be too tender for that so soon again. But I would love to hold you. Go into your room next door and call your maid. I’ll give you time to change into your nightclothes.”
In her room, she rang for Joan, and once she’d changed, Anne waited for Colin’s knock on the door.
Thirty minutes later, she still waited. How long did he think it would take her to change?
Was she supposed to go back to his room when she’d finished? What had he said? She tried to remember.
Her eyelids grew heavy and her mind fuzzy. The bed looked so soft and inviting. For a few moments she debated whether she should go to Colin or continue to wait. Surely, it wouldn’t hurt to stretch out on the bed for a while. She glanced at the clock. Ten forty-three. If he didn’t arrive within ten minutes, she would go to his room.
She woke with a start as the mantel clock chimed. Midnight! She stretched out her hand and found the side of the bed next to her cold and empty. Where was he?
After rising, she slipped on her dressing gown and padded to the door. Carefully she peeked around the corner and confirmed the hallway was free from servants or other guests.
At Colin’s room, she tapped lightly then opened the door. Dressed in a beautiful brocade banyan, Colin stretched across his bed. Asleep.
Unsure whether she should be angry, hurt, or disappointed, Anne found she was all three. The nerve of him to leave her alone on their wedding night! Had he not found her desirable enough to stay awake for a mere fifteen minutes while she changed? And she certainly had anticipated more of those wonderful kisses.
Time stretched as she watched him sleep, and evil satisfaction crept in that his slumber was not peaceful. He jerked and started asif caught in a nightmare. But as he clutched at the bed linens and gave a pitiful moan, her heart softened.
Grump though she believed him to be, he’d given her such pleasure earlier that day before everything had fallen apart.
Hadn’t he said he wanted to hold her? She tiptoed to the bed and climbed in next to him. “Colin,” she whispered. “I’m here.”
All the eventsof the day weighed heavily on Colin’s mind as he changed out of his clothes and slipped into his banyan. Even Fitz sensed his distress and was wise enough to stop his chatter after a brief enquiry as to Colin’s father’s health. Only Fitz’s departing words as he closed the door behind him drew Colin back to the present. “Oh, and felicitations on your marriage, sir.”
His marriage. Colin fell back onto the bed and drew a hand over his eyes. How had the day devolved from something joyful and hopeful to something ominous and soul-crushing?
Shame slithered through him that even with his father lying ill, Colin still hoped to find pleasure in the arms of his wife. Selfish bastard. He wished to wipe the second half of the day away. The sudden awareness of his father’s mortality. The quelling of his hope to serve as MP in Commons. The constant pressure of living in his father’s shadow and never measuring up.
Only the desire to give Anne the attention any bride deserved served as balm for his guilty conscience. But the truth was he wanted her more than was prudent. Hadn’t his behavior after their wedding proven that?
Yet, perhaps in that case, the fates had been kind. At least he’d been able to consummate his marriage before fear for his father’s health loomed over him like an ominous specter.
Exhaustion of body, mind, and spirit slammed into him so fast and so hard it was as if his arms and legs weighed seventy stone. He glanced at the clock. Half past ten. He’d give himself ten minutes to rest and compose himself before he went toAnne. Ten minutes should be plenty. It was his last thought as he stretched out on the bed.
