I grab a bag out of the wreckage that is my closet and shove handfuls of clothes inside of it. I don’t even know if I can make full outfits from what I choose, but I’m way more focused on escaping while Dad’s guard is down than being practical. I just barely remember to shove my toothbrush, laptop and chargers inside.
Slipping out the window like I’ve done so many times before, I slide behind the wheel of my pickup, grateful at least that he didn’t block me in tonight. Thanks to how loud my truck is, I’m not able tosneakaway. The second I have it cranked, I high-tail out of the yard, skidding on the ice a little. I watch in my rear-view as Dad stumbles onto the porch. He’s yelling, but I can’t hear him.
I don’t have anywhere to go. I try not to sleep at the bar unless it’s too dangerous for me to sleep in my truck. Dale’s wife wakes up early and no matter what crevice I tuck myself away in to sleep, she always finds me. Her pity has a way of making me feel two feet tall.
Kendall is my only friend, but she’ll take one look at my face and ask too many questions or get her brothers involved. I can’t handle Maddox seeing me like this on top of everything else.
Instead, I drive the truck to the old make-out point and park at the edge of the cliff. I sit behind the steering wheel for way too long, contemplating how freeing it would be to just… drive forward.
But I don’t. I don’t have the guts.
I was hoping to be out of Cedar Creek by summer. I thought by then I’d have enough saved that I could leave without having to choose between starving to death or fucking someone just so I’d have a place to sleep each night, but losing five grand was a massive setback.
I keep the truck running, lock the doors, and lie down on the bench seat, using my bag as a pillow. It takes a lot of repositioning before I can find a way to lay that doesn’t put too much pressure on my sore ribs. It’s gonna be a long, cold night, and an even longer week, but at least I’m not stuck in the house with my drugged up father until his bender is over.
ELEVEN
MADDOX
Something’s wrong with Austin.She’s not being her usual playful, bratty self. Sure, we’d ended the other night on the wrong foot, but tonight she seems closed-off and she won’t meet my eyes. I’ve pissed her off before. I know what the cold shoulder from Austin Taylor looks like, and this is more than that.
“What’s wrong with your friend?” I ask when I slide up next to Kendall at the kitchen counter to fill my dinner plate.
Kenny just shrugs, knocking the serving spoon on the edge of her plate to get the mashed potatoes to dislodge from it. “She doesn’t like talking about it when she’s down. Eventually, maybe, but not right away.”
I stare at my sister, waiting for her to elaborate. She doesn’t seem to plan on it. “I thought you were her best friend.”
“Yup. Doesn't mean she wants to talk about it with me. I figure you of all people should understand that, old grumpy ass.” She gets frustrated with the potatoes and moves on to the macaroni, leaving me behind to fight the same battle. “Why’s it matter to you anyway?”
I use the fight with the potato spoon to delay my answer since I have no fucking clue what to even tell her. Whydoesitmatter to me? Why should I care? She’s just my kid sister’s best friend.
“You know Mama gets worried easily. I figure she’ll ask later, so I thought I’d go ahead and find out what I need to tell her when she does.” I’ve never been good at thinking on my feet. If Mama had a concern about Austin, she’d go to Kenny, not me.
Now I sound like one of the old ladies that spends an hour after service gossiping about everyone in town on the front lawn despite nodding along with the pastor when he told everyone not to judge others.
Kenny doesn’t call me on it though. “Well, word of advice: Austin lashes out like a cornered animal when she feels vulnerable so I wouldn’t ask her what’s wrong.”
She walks off to join the table and Jameson nudges me out of the way so the food line can continue. Lashing out because she felt vulnerable sounds a lot like what might’ve happened on Friday. One second, she’d been obnoxiously flirty—even asking me to take her home—then the next, she’d been tossing out my siblings’ names like daggers.
Sheriff rubs against my legs with a gruff meow, pulling me back to the present. A house full of people, but I’m the prime target of his faux affection somehow. I reach over and tug a small piece of chicken off my plate, tossing it to the floor. He immediately abandons me for it. “Don’t say I never gave you anything.”
It’s Sunday night, which means the Big House is full with all the strays Mama’s added to the family. We’ve had to pull up extra, mismatched chairs to the dining table and will spend the evening knocking elbows with the people on either side of us because of it, but it’s better than risking Mama’s wrath. Sunday dinners were non-negotiable for everyone except Colt.
Theo cuts Callie’s broccoli up into ‘even mini-er trees,’ as the little girl put it, while she sits in Kendall’s lap. On Kenny’s other side, Austin is messing around on her phone under the table so Mama doesn’t see.
I sit down next to Tyler, but his attention is where it always is.Jamie takes the seat across from me and next to Tate, immediately picking back up on the conversation we’d been having earlier this afternoon.
“So did you want to go with me to pick up the new horses in Nevada, or what? I plan on stopping by California on the way to see Colt ride.” Apparently, my earlier non-answer wasn’t enough.
“Not especially,” I say, keeping my voice down for Mama’s sake.
“I wanna go,” Tate immediately says, excited eyes turned on Jameson.
My brother’s eyes flick to hers and then back to mine, asking without asking if I can afford to losethreesets of hands on the ranch, since we both know exactly what will happen if he says she can go.
I nod anyway, spearing a piece of broccoli with my fork.
My sister smiles widely, taking my nod as her permission since she’s completely blind to the effect she has on Tyler and wouldn’t have caught on to Jamie’s question even if he asked it aloud.
