“I know.” Kissing her soft lips briefly before burying my face in her hair, I breathe her in deep like my own personal haven. “I am happy. I want you to know that. You make me happy.”
“I know.” I hear the smile in her voice and love that I make her happy, too.
“Let’s get what we need so we can get out of here,” I say, pulling back. “This place is like a creepy horror movie that I don’t want to be part of anymore.”
“Agreed,” she laughs. “Where’s your bedroom? Should we look in there?”
“You already saw it. That nasty ass couch pulls out into a glorified bed,” I snort.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Her eyes turn to slits, and I chuckle at the fire that rises in her eyes to defend me.
“Wish I were. I spent all my time anyway at the rink after school, so all I did was sleep here.”
“I’m surprised your dad paid for your hockey lessons and games,” she huffs while throwing his clothes aside in the closet and making sure nothing in there is worth keeping.
Maybe we both need to forgive my dad, I muse as her anger burns brighter the more she sees of my past.
“He didn’t. Before my mom died, she talked to the league about her situation, and they helped her get a few scholarships for me, and the rest she saved up herself. She made sure I had a place in the league until graduation. From there, I was lucky enough to skip the junior league and get picked up by the ECHL, which led me to the Devils shortly after.”
Her eyes soften at the mention of my mom. “I love your mom more and more. I wish I had been able to meet her.”
“She would have loved you,” I say, feeling the truth deep in my bones.
“How could I not love her. She gave me you,” she smiles softly before moving to another shelf.
Part of me wonders to this day if all the prayers I did after she died, of wanting to feel loved, were answered, and she sent me Savi. I like to think she had a hand in bringing us together. Deep down, something tells me that I’m right.
We spend the next hour packing up what little items we find of my mom and any childhood memories I had worth keeping before I shut the trunk of my car.
Opening the door for Savi, she slides in, and I walk to the driver’s side, stopping to look one more time at the trailer.
Usually, the sight of it drags out the anger and guilt, wrapping around my neck like chains until I can’t breathe, but today they hang loose.
It’s the same quiet release I felt a few nights ago when I threw my dad’s ashes out into the white-capped waves. He had pushed every single person in his life away, so there was no point in having a service, but when it came down to leaving his remains or picking them up, it wasn’t an easy decision for me to make.
A huge part of me just wanted to let the funeral home dispose of him, let him become someone else’s problem, or shoving him in a closet to rot didn’t sound so bad either.
In the end, I chose the ocean.
I waited until the next storm and stood on the shore while the wind tried to knock me down. Waves clawed at the sand as I opened the urn and gave him to the raging waters.
No prayer.
No goodbye.
Just releasing my monster into the hands of something far more powerful to decide his fate.
My mom deserved the beautiful side of the ocean.
My father deserved its hell.
Pulling my eyes away and not giving this place another thought, I open the door and slide in next to my future, shutting the door on my past and leaving it behind as I drive away.
Lookingat the printouts my assistant sent over, I set them on the counter as a black fur ball jumps onto the island and looks at me warily. I’ve been giving Freya her space to get used to me, and so far, she hasn’t wanted a single thing to do with me.
“Hey girl,” I say softly. “Does this mean you are starting to trust me?”
Her blue eyes assess me with caution as she walks around my papers with her tail moving gracefully before she sits down in front of me.
