“I don’t know what you want me to do here, Mom,” I say quietly. “I stayed and looked after Dad just like I promised you I would, but I can’t do it anymore. It’s keeping me chained and locked in this dark hell that I’m so tired of being in.”
I glance up at the tall branches and watch the hanging moss sway in the wind as the words I’ve held back for years start to pour out.
“I know you would have never made me promise if you had known what he would turn into after you died. I want you to know that I don’t blame you. I stayed because I felt responsible, and I think a part of me stayed because he was my last link to you.”
Savi’s words play in my mind, and I let in the pain this time instead of shoving it down.
“God, I miss you, Mom,” I whisper hoarsely. “I’m so fucking sorry for everything.”
I don’t hold the tears in as they stream down my face. Years of guilt and pain come through until I have nothing left in me to give.
Wiping my eyes, I turn and walk away, knowing this will be the last time I ever set foot in this house again. It’s time to start letting the past go if I have any chance of a future.
“Fuck!”I yell, throwing my gloves to the floor and whipping off my helmet. It’s our third game in a row we’ve lost, and we can’t seem to get our shit together.
“Stone, get your ass over here,” Coach yells from across the locker room. Cayden gives me a sympathetic look as I walk by and head straight over to where Coach is standing.
“Follow me,” he barks out as I walk with him to an empty office, and he shuts the door.
“Want to tell me what’s going on?” He throws his hat on the desk and rakes his hand aggressively through his hair.
“It’s just a couple of bad games. I’ll work with them harder in practice, and we’ll turn it around next game.”
“It’s not about working them harder, Stone,” he frustratedly sighs. “You’re their captain. They look to you for guidance and feed off your energy in the game. For the past two weeks, you’ve shown up to practice with a stick up your ass, and I want you to find out what the fuck is causing it and remove it as fast as you fucking can.”
“Yes, Coach,” I grind out, clenching my jaw so tight it hurts. I hate that he’s right and I’m responsible for these losses.
Sighing, he walks over to me and looks me in the eye.
“I get that it’s hard to leave all your personal shit behind when you step onto the ice, but it’s what we have to do. Those hours on the ice are dedicated to you and your team. Everything else can wait. If you need to talk to someone…”
“I don’t,” I say, cutting him off. “I just got in my head. It won’t happen again.”
He peers at me before finally breaking away.
“Let’s see that it doesn’t,” he says, picking up his hat and throwing it on again. “You’ve got press in twenty with Hayes. Can you handle it?”
I can tell he’s testing me on whether I’m able to set aside my shit and pull through.
“I’m looking forward to it,” I say, working up a fake smile.
“Now I know you’re fucking lying. Get the hell in the shower before I change my mind and bench your ass in the next game just for playing like shit tonight.”
Nodding, I leave the room and head into the shower, ignoring the curious glances from the team.
Once I have my suit on, I meet Hayes in the hallway where he’s waiting for me.
“Want to talk about it?” He asks, walking with me down the hall.
“Nothing to talk about. I fucked up, and it won’t happen again.”
He eyes me, but doesn’t push me for more as I open the door to the press room.
“Let’s get this over with,” I mutter, stepping inside.
We sit at the table with the microphones in place as, one by one, the questions come firing in.
“Stone, you are on a three-game losing streak. What are your strategies going into the next game?” A reporter shouts out.
