“Savi…,” he groans, pulsing against my belly. His chest is heaving and broken out in a sweat as his body accepts my gift as well. Darkened blues focus on me as he looks at me lying there covered in his cum. His finger swipes through it, painting my breasts and neck before coating my bottom lip.
I swipe my tongue across it, and his salty taste that I know by heart now hits my taste buds. His eyes flash with something so primal and raw that I would sell my soul to see it again.
“For the record, I never once hated you,” I whisper, feeling my love for him so strong that I can’t hold it back from seeping through.
“I know,” he swallows. “Even when you were angry at something I did to push you away, I never felt anything but the one thing that scares the hell out of me to have.”
“I’m scared too,” I admit quietly.
“You should be scared of me.” He starts to move off of me, and I stop him.
“I’m not scared ofyou.” I search his eyes and see how badly he’s struggling with what he’s feeling. “I’m scared you are going to quit on us before you even try. I’m scared…” I swallow down the lump in my throat and pray this won’t make him run. “I’m scared of how much I love you and that it won’t be enough to break down your walls. I’m scared I’ll never get you to believe how much you deserve the love I want to give you,” I whisper, praying I can get through to him.
“Savi…don’t,” he breathes out painfully. The look in his eyes has me blinking back tears. “You shouldn’t waste your love on someone who doesn’t even know anymore if he’s capable of loving back.”
He gets up and walks to the bathroom before bringing a towel back with him.
“Here,” he says softly, handing it to me.
I quickly clean my chest before sitting up and watching him pull his boxer briefs back on.
“So that’s it?” I ask, feeling myself start to break. “You’re just going to walk away then and not even try?”
He’s quiet as he grabs the rest of his clothes off the floor.
“Knox, look at me. If you are going to walk away from me…from us, then at least have the fucking balls to look me in the eye when you do it,” I choke out, feeling the anger and sadness suffocate me.
He stops and finally lifts his eyes to mine, and I wish that he hadn’t. Gone are all the emotions he’s been letting me see for the past few weeks, and instead, his eyes are stone cold as his walls slam back up, leaving me shivering alone on the outside once again.
“This would have been a whole hell of a lot easier if you would have just hated me,” he says quietly, walking to the door.
“Don’t worry. You’re finally going to get what you’ve always wanted.” I snap out, hoping like hell this anger I’m feeling will overshadow the pain that wants to drown me.
He stops at my words and grips the doorframe as his head bows in defeat. His back is to me, hiding what he’s feeling from me.
“You’re a coward, Stone,” I say, not being able to stop the angry words from flowing to mask the pain I’m feeling. “You get out on that ice and fight every damn day for your team…you fought for me when I didn’t have the strength,” I say, stifling back a sob because I know if I start crying, I’ll never stop, “but when it comes to fighting for yourself, you’re a fucking coward. You just give up because it’s easier than letting yourself feel.”
His hand curls around the door frame tighter, and every part of me wants to see him turn around and fight for himself…fight for us.
But he doesn’t.
He pries his fingers off the door and walks away. I hear a zipper being torn open in the other room before I hear him rummaging through his bag.
I fist the sheets tight to my chest and resist the urge to run to him and make him see the truth…make him see how wrong he is to walk away.
But I don’t.
Instead, I listen to his car roar to life and the silence that follows as only the ghost of him remains behind.
The scent of him still branded on my skin.
The touch of him still seared into my memory.
He’s right about one thing.
He did ruin me just like he said he would.
He’s taken hold of my heart, and something tells me I’ll never get it back.
