“It would be the wrong thing for me to do, and that’s all that matters.”
“How can it be so wrong when it feels so right?” I whisper, wishing I could understand why he refuses to let himself be happy.
“You just have to trust me on this, Savi,” he sighs. “Let’s just enjoy the time we have now. One day, you’ll find someone who deserves you, and it will all make sense why I had to walk away.”
Not wanting to argue right before he leaves for the week, I decide to let him think my silence is agreement when nothing could be further from the truth.
I won’t stop fighting for how I feel in this moment, wrapped in his arms. He belongs here with me, and I know he feels it too.
I’m going to continue proving to him just how much he deserves to be loved and truly happy. I know he feels he can’t give me what I need, but he’s wrong. He’s exactly what I need and want.
All his scars…
All his wounds that haven’t healed…
His darkness and his light.
I want all of him.
And I will keep showing him I’m not going anywhere until he has no choice but to face the fact that we are stronger together than we are apart.
SEVENTEEN
KNOX
“Try notto sleep with the flight attendant this time,” McCormick mutters to Hayes as we walk across the tarmac toward our private team plane. “Bree got replaced mid-season, and we ended up getting stuck with mean old Janis.”
“How was I supposed to know she would tell her coworkers, and it would get back to her boss?” Hayes exclaims. “She wasn’t even on the clock when it happened, so I don’t know why it’s a big deal.”
“Rookie mistake,” Foxx chuckles. “Bree never mentioned my name because I told her to keep it our secret. Made it a little fun game,” he winks at Hayes.
“She never mentioned your name because she was too busy screaming mine,” Hayes grins.
“That’s really fucking cute of you to think that. Delusional, but cute,” Foxx chuckles as we begin to climb the stairs for boarding.
“Both of you?” McCormick turns to look at Hayes and Foxx as he shakes his head. “God, that poor girl.”
“You mean lucky girl,” Hayes pipes up, causing Foxx to chuckle.
“Here’s an idea. Why don’t you both shut the fuck up and keep your dicks to yourselves for a change?” I say, following them into the cabin of the plane.
“Somebody’s still got their panties in a bunch from last night,” Hayes laughs.
“It was just a drink, Stone,” Foxx says, chuckling. “Savi’s cool and fun to hang out with.”
“And hot, which is an added bonus,” Hayes grins as I narrow my eyes at him. He’s lucky I need his ass this season, or I would be kicking it right now.
“He’s just messing with you,” Cayden says, grabbing my tense shoulder in a squeeze as he walks by to claim his seat.
“Yeah, I know,” I mumble, taking my usual spot in the back so I won’t be bothered. Normally, comments like that flow right off of me, but with Savi, it’s different. I feel so goddamn protective over her that even the slightest mention of her name coming out of their mouths puts me immediately on defense.
It’s only been eight hours since I left her bed this morning, and I haven’t stopped thinking about her once. I hate the way I can’t shut off my emotions with her like I’ve done in the past. She’s seeped her way in past my barriers, and I can’t for the life of me figure out how I’m supposed to keep her from taking the rest of me.
Getting more comfortable, I switch out my suit for grey sweats and a Bolts hoodie. Most of the team changes their clothes as well before we take our seats. The flight attendants don’t bat an eye, which means they’ve been down this road before.
You can always tell when it’s their first time flying with a team based on their reaction, the moment we all start getting undressed. It’s not every day you are surrounded by a group of half-naked men. It doesn’t help that most of the guys make it their mission to get a reaction out of them.
Putting on a ball cap, I pull the visor down low and throw on some headphones, letting it be known that I don’t want to be disturbed. I’ve got some footage I want to go over, and truthfully, I’m just not in the mood for the guys’ banter tonight.
