“Little Red,” my dad murmurs, wrapping me in a tight hug.
And in his arms, for the first time in six days, I break. I don’t even know exactly what I’m crying for, but the tears fall anyway. They pour down my cheeks and soak my dad’s sweatshirt for what feels like forever. But surprisingly, they feel good. Cleansing almost. Like I’m crying out an ache that’s been a part of me for so long I didn’t even realize it was there.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” I mumble, sobs finally starting to slow.
He kisses the side of my head and leans back, his gaze cataloguing my face before his lips tip up in a smile. “We’re going to figure it out. Sit with us and let’s fix it, okay?”
I nod, turning to see that my mom, Oliver, and my friends are sprawled over the red carpet in a circle of sorts, an assortment of snacks set in the middle. The sight of them all together makes me feel like I’m taking my first deep breath in almost a week. My mom pats the seat next to her and I take it, my dad dropping down on my other side, each of them taking one of my hands. Glancing at the snacks, I laugh when I see six boxes of cereal, two gallons of milk, bowls, and spoons.
“Cereal at twelve thirty in the afternoon?” I ask.
My dad shakes his head, a look of mock disappointment overhis face. “I taught you better than that. Anytime is a good time for cereal.”
My mom squeezes my hand, bumping my shoulder with hers. “Felt appropriate. Tell us where it hurts, Maddy.”
I turn to look at my mom, at her green eyes and red hair that look so much like mine that if I didn’t know I was adopted, I would think I came directly from her. Emma Langley gave me a home and a family and a place to call my own, and the words come bubbling up before I can stop them. “I’m so sorry.”
This is the moment I realize I’ve never seen my mom caught off guard before because the expression on her face is entirely foreign to me.
“What do you have to be sorry for?”
I shrug, huffing out a laugh. “Oh, I don’t know. Besides everything? I kept my relationship with Cam a secret from mostly everyone, and then the world learned about it in the most public way possible in an article that insinuated I’m a dirty slutbag for sleeping with a patient and definitely a disgrace to women in professional sports everywhere and mentioned you and Dad and Oliver, dragging you into the mess I made. I put Brian in a really uncomfortable position and made life harder for literally everyone who knows me.”
Laughter from around the circle was not the reaction I was expecting.
“Honey, if you were trying to actually keep your relationship with Cam a secret, you did a really bad job of it,” my mom says with a grin. “Your dad knew the second you guys ran into Cam and his kids right here a few months back, and Liv and I caught you…”
“Fucking against the wall?” Maya supplies helpfully.
I wince, and my dad and Oliver groan in unison.
“Fuck no.” Oliver levels Maya with a glare. “We’re definitely not doing that.”
Maya shrugs with an unrepentant grin, pouring herself a bowl of Frosted Flakes. “I just call it like I see it.”
“Maybe see it a little less…graphically,” my dad says with a shudder that makes everyone laugh again, and the sound has the heaviness around my heart melting away just a little more.
“Anyway,” my mom says, looking back at me. “We knew, Liv knew, and so did they.” She waves a hand around the circle. “Anyone else?”
“Hey, I didn’t know,” Oliver says with something perilously close to a pout.
Maya elbows him in the ribs. “Maybe make this a little less about you, baby brother.”
“I’m not your baby brother,” he grumbles.
I ignore them and their tendency to swipe at each other. “Drew Ellicott. Riley and Ethan. Cam’s mom.”
My mom smiles. “That’s a lot of people, Mads. A lot of people who love and support you. And now that everyone knows, that’s more people on your side. More family who have your back. Why would you think we would be anything other than happy you’re happy? Thrilled you’ve found someone to share your life with? What is it that made you shut out your family and everyone who loves you for almost a week?”
The way she asks makes me certain she already knows the answer, and with her warm, comforting eyes steady on mine, I suddenly know too, the truth of it slamming into me like a big, fat fist. “I was afraid you would be disappointed in me. That maybe because of that you wouldn’t…” My voice breaks and I shake my head, shame tightening my throat, unable to finish that sentence. To say the words.
“That maybe we wouldn’t want you anymore?” My brother’s voice is quiet, but the way the words slice through me, it’s like he screamed them to the heavens.
“Maybe,” I manage, staring down at the carpet, a thousand thoughts racing through my mind, the loudest one,How could I not know I felt this way?
In a flash, strong arms are around me as my dad tugs me into his lap like I’m a kid again instead of a thirty-year-oldwoman suddenly unearthing an untapped well of unresolved trauma. My mom is still holding my hand, and Oliver crouches in front of me, his hand on my knee. And when I look at my friends—my sisters—every single one of them has tears in their eyes and love on their face, and the force of it makes my own tears flow again.
“There is nothing you could ever do to make us not want you, Maddy,” my dad says, loud enough for everyone to hear. “I’ve wanted you since the very first time I met you. I came over with cereal, and the three of us sat around the kitchen table together. You asked me about my knee injury, and I talked about it for the first time in years. Then I read to you, and you fell asleep with your head on my shoulder, and for the first time in my life, I felt like I had found a place to belong. Like you and I were meant to find each other, and your mom was meant to find us both. She gave us both a home, and we gave each other a family.”
