“You know your voicemail is full? Maybe Diamond tried to call and couldn’t get through. You need to clear your messages,” I told her as I grabbed the iPad.
“I don’t know how to clear that shit. Taylor usually does it for me. Can you erase a few of them?” she asked, like she hadn’t just cursed me the fuck out not too long ago.
I told her to have a seat. I took my son’s iPad to him in his room, then I came back and sat on the couch beside Eva. As I allowed her voicemail messages to play through the speakers, she told me which ones to save and to delete. The oldest message was from Diamond, telling her mom that her and Taylor were okay and not to worry or look for them. Although she had done all this foul shit to me, I was kinda relieved that she was straight. I still didn’t know what I would do if I ever saw that bitch, but for now I was relieved.
Igot dressed for my appointment and waited for Trell to pull up to get me. Reluctantly, I allowed him to come to the appointment with me and for him to be my chauffeur for the day. Moni had been to my last two appointments, but today I was getting an ultrasound and finding out the gender of the babies. I decided to keep them and to co-parent with Trell to the best of my ability. Trell had been very consistent these days. If I called and told him that I had a craving, he would get up out of his sleep at 2:00am and bring what I asked for, even though he knew he couldn’t step foot in my house.
When I walked outside to Trell’s car, he rushed to the passenger side and opened the door for me. As I slid into the seat, he made sure I was in all the way before gently closing the door. This nigga was really doing too damn much. He knew hewasn’t no door opening ass nigga. The things he did to get back on my good side were annoying.
“You need to stop yo’ shit! No matter how many doors you open, you’ll never be nothing more than just my baby daddy!” I barked at Trell.
“Calm yo’ mean ass down! What gender makes women so mean? Is it boys or girls ’cause I’ve already bet Rowdy it was gonna be girls. I just hope they not mean like yo’ ass. When you realize we’re on the same team, the better off we will be, baby momma.” Trell smiled in my direction.
I folded my arms and rode in silence the rest of the way. I had to keep my guard up with Trell, because if I wasn’t careful, I would fall for his shit again. When I thought about Moni, I really admired her resilience. When she got her heart broken by J, she shut that shit down and left him for good. She didn’t pretend to be done then forgive him—she crossed that nigga out and forgot that he ever existed. I wanted to be that strong.
Riding in Trell’s passenger seat, I felt so secure and safe with him. His light blue cologne danced around my nostrils, and I just wanted to lean over and kiss him while telling him I forgave him.
I snapped back into reality as he put the car in park. He got out and opened my door again, then he tried to hold my hand as we walked into the building. I slapped his hand and speed walked ahead of him. If I wasn’t careful, I would end up back in that nigga’s bed. I couldn’t even front, though, I loved having Trell chase me. It gave me a feeling of being in control. He begged relentlessly, and I continued to turn him down.
As we sat in the waiting room, Trell kept talking about the twins. He was so proud to become a father; he was starting to rub off on me.
Once in the back, my OBGYN, Erica, asked if we wanted to know the sex or have her to place it in a secured envelope, so that we could be surprised. We told her to put it in an envelope, andwe would give it to our friends. As soon as she started doing the ultrasound, baby B kicked his legs open, exposing his little wee-wee. We all fell out laughing.
“Look at him. He says I don’t want to keep a secret, Mommy. I’m definitely a boy.” Erica mimicked a baby’s voice.
Baby A was chilling with his little legs crossed, Erica gently pressed on my stomach with the probe to make him move a little, and he opened his legs as well. Trell sat there in disbelief with his hands on top of his head and his mouth wide open. I could see how proud he was to have two sons on the way. He asked the doctor more questions than I did during this appointment.
As soon as it was over, he started making phone calls telling everyone we knew about the boys. He called Rowdy and asked him if we could have dinner at Dakota’s steakhouse tonight with him and Moni because he had a big announcement to make. Trell acted like we were a couple. He basically set up a double date, and I didn’t know how to feel about that.
Trell took me to my house and asked that I grab some things and come over to his house to get ready, so we could already be together when it was time to head to the dinner. This nigga thought he was slick, but I already knew his game. I let him take me to my place, and I picked out a tight fitting powder pink dress and some clear wedge heels. Then I grabbed my soap, makeup bag, and deodorant. I placed my things inside my extra-large Telfar bag, and we were out the door. The last time I had been to Trell’s crib, I saw him laid up with a bitch, so I was very apprehensive to be going back over there.
After a twenty-minute drive, we pulled up to a gated community, and I frowned that Trell was making another stop. All I wanted to do was go to his crib, get on his sofa, and take a nap until it was time for us to go to dinner. Trell parked in frontof a beautiful two-story home and grabbed my bag before exiting the car.
“Trell, put my shit back. I’m not going in there. Who lives here anyway?” I groggily asked.
These days, I was like a kid when it came to car rides. I couldn’t hang. They always made me extra sleepy. I was not in the mood for a damn meet and greet. I needed some rest.
“This is our place. I got this for us, and when you say you’re ready to start over, I’m gonna move all your shit in here or buy you all new shit. It’s whatever you want, Ci,” Trell said.
“Yeah, right! When did you even have time to do this? You been on my heels every day since I caught you with your hoe. I would have known if you closed on a house. Moni and Rowdy didn’t mention it either.”
“Listen to you. Why would they tell you my business? I’m not joking. This is really our shit. I closed on this a few days after we found out you were pregnant. Get out the car and let me show you. I know I fucked up, but like I said, I’m willing to do whatever you say to fix it. My boys will not grow up in a single parent household, and that’s that!”
“You know you can no longer call shots, right? When the ball was in your court, you fumbled it. Whatever you think is going to happen between us is out of your control. I told you what I want. I want you to have never fucked another bitch. I want that bitch that you fucked to never have existed, but that’s not possible.”
“Ima fix this, just watch. Come see your new house though, girl. You ain’t that damn mad. Cut a nigga some slack. I made it to where you never had to step foot into my old house again. I threw that bed away and anything else that could trigger you. I just want you to be happy and for my boys to be healthy. That’s all, Ci. Believe it or not, I love the fuck out of you. You make me feel shit I ain’t never felt before, and I want to make up for what I did. You act so damn hard that you never made me think wewere serious. I knew that I wanted you, but you treated me like a random fuck buddy. What I did was wrong as fuck, but I never knew where we really stood,” Trell explained.
“Yeah,” was my only response as I got out of the car and walked toward his new house.
The house was beautiful and spacious. He had the twins’ room picked out, and I could already picture how we would decorate it. Although I didn’t intend to be with him, I would definitely trust him to spend time with his kids and keep them when he wanted. His master bedroom had a jacuzzi garden tub and a separate stand-up shower. He had a brand-new bed that was a California King, and the entire house was bomb as hell. He needed a woman’s touch for the décor, but other than that, he did his big one when he picked this house out. He offered to show me his backyard, but I was too tied to continue the tour.
Trell asked if I needed anything before he jumped in the shower. I told him no, then I climbed into his bed and got under the covers. I could tell he spent a pretty penny on that mattress because it felt like I was floating on clouds. It felt like I had only been asleep for a minute when I felt the covers pulled off me. I was so tired that I couldn’t fully wake up. It wasn’t until I felt my waist being squeezed and a wet tongue on my clit that I was able to wake up completely.
When I opened my eyes, Trell was between my legs, eating me like he hadn’t eaten in days. As I looked down at him, he looked up at me, and we made eye contact that made the feeling he was giving me even more intense. I gripped his head and held him in place while I rotated my hips.
Since he wanted to be freaky and woke me up out my sleep, I was going to give him exactly what he wanted. I pushed his head, making his tongue slide further down and into my ass. He immediately started licking and slurping. I held his head as I grinded on his face. After a few more minutes, I came all over hisnose and face. Before I could catch my breath, Trell had dropped his towel and started to climb on top of me. My first instinct was to push him back.
“Hold on buddy! You got too much dip on yo chip! I’m not about to fuck you. Thanks for the head and all, but we no longer on that level. Remember, you fucked that up. You can get me a warm towel and wipe me up, though. You made me make a mess.” I smiled.
