I swiftly grabbed her by her shirt collar and pulled her into my home. Using all my strength, I kicked my door shut and body-slammed her onto my dining room floor. I could hear Jbegging me to stop, but I was too far gone, and I dared that nigga to touch me or try to break it up. I sat on top of her and banged her head against the floor, then I went to work on her face.
Before today, I thought my life was damn near perfect, but now I was taking all my frustrations that I didn’t even know I had out on this bitch. I punched her head so hard that knots started to pop up on her forehead like a cartoon. I threw another hard punch, then I heard something crack. Blood splashed on my shirt and all over my face. I looked down and couldn’t tell if the blood was coming from her nose or her mouth, but something had taken over me, and I didn’t care about busting this hoe up. Word to the wise, you should know exactly who you are fuckin with before you decide to do a pop up at somebody’s house behind a nigga.
I continued beating this girl’s ass until my hands went numb, and even then, I couldn’t stop. Jakari held his son in one arm and tried to pull me off his baby momma with his other hand. I kept shaking his hand off me and continued to beat on his side bitch. I was so hurt, and this was the only way that I knew how to express myself. When I finally got tired, I sat on the floor and tried to catch my breath.
“Get off that girl, Moni. You beat her ass already, and she knows not to play with you again. Get up and clean yourself up. You have blood all over you, man,” Jakari spoke in a soft tone.
I knew he was scared and shocked at the same time. He’d seen me flash out before, but today I really checked out. I had an out-of-body experience, and it was like I could see myself while I was beating her ass, and I still didn’t want to stop. She lay under me, crying and trying to regulate her breathing.
“Don’t say shit to me, you bitch ass nigga! Get yo’ hoe, get yo’ hollerin’ ass son, and get the fuck out my house! Pick this bitch up and get out of my crib by the time I make it to my safe, or Iwill blow you and this bitch to pieces. Play with me if you want to,” I said as I got up and stormed off toward my bedroom.
“I’m sorry, Moni. It ain’t what you think, but I’m so fuckin sorry!” he hollered behind me.
I made it to my closet and to my safe, then I broke down crying. It took me over three times to get the combo right because my hands were shaking so badly. When I finally got my gun and made it to the living room, it was empty. All that was left was a puddle of blood. He knew I wasn’t playing. A good ass date night with my man had ended in me finding out I had been betrayed in the worst way, and now I was single. All I wanted to do was take a hot bath and soak all my pain away. I just wanted to go back to bed and start my day over without all the bullshit events of tonight ever happening.
For the fifth day straight, I sat outside Harmoni’s crib. I wanted to go up and talk to her, but I knew she hated a nigga right now. I tried to reach out to her, but after the second day, she got her number changed. We hadn’t spoken since that day, but I still sat outside her crib, hoping to catch a glimpse of her. I wasn’t on no stalker shit, but this woman was my heart, and I was sick as hell without her. Besides, I helped pay the bills in this muthafucka, so technically, I had a right to be here. Still, I knew not to try her after the shit that went down.
I knew I had fucked up big time, and I wanted to make shit right, but I knew that no matter how hard I tried, she would never fuck with me again. That shit was hurting a nigga soul. Harmoni wasn’t the type of woman you let get away. Now, I wasfeeling like a real stupid ass nigga. How did I let my past catch up to me like this?
Although I had contributed to the confirmation that niggas ain’t shit, that was never my intention. I never cheated on my girl except that one time, and the slimy bitch had the nerve to trap me. I knew that’s what all niggas said, but this time, it was the truth. My head on my shoulders should have been stronger than the one in my pants, but it wasn’t, and I could only blame myself. One bad mistake was causing me a lifetime of pain.
A few years back, my girl and I were going through a lot when we lost our son. I mean, it was hard to even look at her because of the pain she carried in her eyes. We had to bury a child that we had so many hopes and dreams for—a child who was made out of love. If anyone knew Moni’s pain, it was me. Any problem she had, I was always able to fix, except that one, and it killed me inside. Instead of having to face reality, I chose not to sit around and comfort her because it would only make me sink into depression as well. I started distancing myself because I knew that there was nothing I could do to make my girl better. The only thing she wanted was something we could never get back. Her having a stillbirth with our baby, that changed everything between us. Now, looking back at it, I knew that I was the one to blame.
I was in the hood sitting inside my car one night, debating on if I should go home to my girl or stay in the streets. My hand slammed onto the steering wheel as I thought about how God had just taken my firstborn son away from me like that. I couldn’t understand why he had to pay for my sins. He was so innocent, and he deserved to live. I continued to beat on my wheel as I yelled out in frustration. This was a pain like no other. Like nothing I ever felt in my life. My son was snatched from me. All I wanted was to be a father. All those appointments, all the late nights and morning sickness I spentwith my girl. Then he was gone, and my head was all fucked up now.
Before I could finish letting everything out while I was taking my frustration out on my steering wheel, someone knocked on my window. I picked my head up and rolled the window down. It was a familiar looking female standing there, but I couldn’t place where I knew her from.
“Don’t mean to disturb you, but are you good? I see that you been parked here for a minute, and I was sitting on my porch when I just heard your horn go off. You’re Jakari, right?”
“I’m good. I didn’t mean to scare you or no shit like that. I didn’t think the horn would go off. I just lost my cool for a second, but all is well. Yeah. Yeah, I am Jakari. Do we know each other?” I asked as I grabbed my blunt out of the ashtray.
I fired it up and looked at the chick through the window, waiting for her response.
“I’m Wesley’s cousin Diamond. Y’all used to run together back in the day. He used to bring you to my crib, and y’all would eat all our damn food up. I’m Eva’s daughter,” she said, causing me to squint my eyes and try to recall who she was.
I sat there in deep thought and remembered that Eva did have a bad ass, snotty nose ass daughter. She was about four or five years younger than us, so I never paid her any mind, but I remembered who she was now.
“Damn, that was a hot minute ago. You done grew up. I remember you being a lil’ wild child. How’s your moms doing?” I asked.
“She good, and yes, I was a lil’ dusty tomboy, but I’m grown now. You not gon’ invite me to your blunt, tho? I did come over here to check on you and save the day, so you may as well pay me in gas. It smells like fire, too,” she said as she leaned against my car door and smiled.
Without saying a word, I just popped the locks. Once she heard the doors unlock, she wasted no time getting in the car and sliding down in my leather seats. She was my friend’s family, so I didn’t think nothing of it. And honestly, I didn’t want to be alone with my thoughts for too long in that moment. I took a couple more pulls off the blunt before I handed it to her. I turned the radio up, and slow jams were playing. I grabbed my aux cord and plugged it into my phone, but before I could find a song, Diamond grabbed my hand and stopped me from playing another song.
“Nah, this good. I love slow jams!”
“I thought you wanted to hear some trap shit while you smoked. My bad. I gotcha tho.” I looked at her and laughed. She was clearly a hood bitch, so I assumed that’s what she wanted to hear.
“I see that you think I’m just a trap bitch. I like good music too.”
“Nah, I ain’t think you was just a trap chick, but that’s what I like to listen to. It puts me in the mood to enjoy my smoke. Wassup with you, tho? You checked on me, and you see that I’m straight, but you still here,” I said as I inhaled my blunt. “What you want now? Something on ya mind?”
“Damn, I’ll leave. I was just trying to kick it with you. I can never get your attention any other time, so I was gonna use this to my advantage. I been trying to say something, but you be moving straight past a bitch like I’m invisible.”
“If you been scoping me, then you know I have a girl. To be honest, we going through some tough shit right now, so the last thing on my mind is fuckin off,” I said as I turned to face her. I knew by her tone, the look and the way she was moving that she wanted to fuck me.
“I don’t wanna be no problem! You look stressed, so I’m just trying to be your peace, even if it is just for tonight. I want you and have been wanting you since I was a lil’ girl.”
“You don’t even know me for real. I may be a bad guy. You gotta respect yourself more than to just give yourself to a nigga that you only know of but really don’t know shit about,” I spoke seriously.
