I threw up my hands in exasperation. “But how could that happen?” I demanded, sounding more accusatory than I should. “How could you two love each other so much when you got married and then just stop caring a few years later?”
“Because relationships take work. Getting married isn’t a guarantee that you’re going to keep having those flutteryfeelings for the rest of your life. We loved each other, Glory, but we didn’t put in the work. We didn’t keep trying. We let other things become more important than our relationship.”
I exhaled. “I guess I never looked at it from that perspective,” I admitted. “I always thought everything was dad’s fault.”
“We were both to blame, and I’m sorry that it hurt you and that it’s still hurting you.”
I shrugged. “Me? I’m fine.”
My mom raised an eyebrow. “You don’t have to put on that armor for me, Glory. I know you too well.”
I stood up. My mom was really good at making me feel uncomfortable. “Well, I should probably get going.”
My mom snapped her fingers. “I almost forgot! I was cleaning some things out of my storage unit and I found something that belongs to you.”
She disappeared into her room and came out a moment later with an old shoebox. I stiffened at the sight of it. I knew exactly what was inside.
“Oh, you can throw that away,” I said, trying to speak through the lump in my throat. “I don’t need those.”
“You don’t want these letters?” My mom said incredulously, opening the box and rifling through its contents. “You used to read these over and over. I thought it was so cute.”
“Nope,” I said quickly. “You can just throw them away.”
She eyed me suspiciously. “Okay then,” she said, walking toward her trash can,” if you really don’t want them...”
I took a few steps forward and intercepted her. “You know what? I’ll put these in the dumpster on my way out. You don’t want this box taking up all the room in your trash.”
I hugged her goodbye, then carried the traitorous box out to the parking lot. I stood in front of the dumpster, butfor some reason I couldn’t make myself throw those letters away.
“What is wrong with you?” I muttered to myself. “Why can’t you just forget about this stupid boy and move on?”
I stood there for a few more minutes, recalling a slew of memories and emotions, then I finally turned and walked to my car. I threw the shoebox in the backseat and drove home.
Chapter Sixteen: Collin
I stared at my ravioli, trying to rationalize away the anxiety that was knotting up my stomach. It was Friday night. I was at dinner with Carly, at some expensive Italian restaurant with a great jazz band and overpriced pasta. Carly was wearing a long black dress and her hair was all pinned up like she was going to prom. She looked beautiful, but for some reason I didn’t find her attractive at all. Instead, there was something about her demeanor that was off, almost as if at any moment this night was going to turn into a horror movie. I glanced up at her and she smiled at me, the same wide-eyed smile she’d been wearing all night. In fact, it seemed everyone was smiling like that at me; the taxi driver, the waiters, the people at the table next to us, and it was kind of freaking me out.
It must be that I’m nervous about proposing,I thought, clutching the ring box in my pocket.Once this is all over, everything will feel normal again. Right?
Carly was saying something, and it took all my mental energy to concentrate on the words that were flowing rapidly out of her mouth.
“This place is amazing! Have you ever had breadsticks as soft as this? I wonder how much those chandeliers cost? I bet I could find an imitation online. I’m so glad we have the internet these days, otherwise we would all have to rely on expensive department stores for our fashion and decorating.”
I swallowed hard. Maybe Carly was nervous too, and the way she dealt with it was to talk incessantly. She had to know something was going on.
The band finished their song, and I realized that if I didn’t propose right then I’d probably pass out. I looked over at Carly, who had launched into an appraisal of the silverware.
“Hey, Carly?”
She stopped mid sentence and gazed at me, taking quick, short breaths. “Yes?”
“I need to ask you something.”
She leaned forward. “Okay.”
But just as I was pulling the engagement ring from my pocket, I noticed that the band had started playing a very jazzy version of Satellite by The Dave Matthews Band.You’ve got to be kidding me, I thought. Of all the songs that could possibly serve as background to my proposal, it had to be one that happened to be Glory Parker’s favorite from middle school. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to force Glory out of my thoughts, but the harder I tried, the more she invaded them. She was woven so completely into my subconscious that I couldn’t escape her. She was everywhere. And that wasn’t fair to Carly, or to any girl I dated. Before I moved forward, I had to get over the girl I had never met.
“Collin? Collin!”
