“We’re leaving.”
I know he’s pissed, but he doesn’t get to dictate my night.
“Excuse me?”
I attempt to limp away, but he stands, blocking my way. I hold my breath when he leans forward like he’s going to kiss me for everyone in the bar, including my brother, to see. Half of me wants to run as far away from him as I can get. The other half wishes he would just do it. End the charade and let the whole town know.
“Your brothers and I think Dusty is involved with your friends from Boston. He may have been the one who cut the fence line at the ranch. I’ll explain more at home.”
My eyes dart to where Dusty stands with the two strangers, all three pairs of eyes on us. Fear surges through me, but my anger tempts me to confront the group of men. Fear and common sense win the battle. My hands shake as I step closer to Owen.
“C’mon. Let’s say goodbye to Mia and your brother.”
He leads me to Mia, with his hand in mine, and I let him. I say my goodbyes while Owen chats with Mia’s security detail, but I never let go of his hand. The thought of not being connected to him right now is unfathomable. I hope everyone in this bar sees my hand in his.
Smith is standing guard at our house, well, Owen’s house. There are also cameras at all the family's residences. I know we’re protected. Still, my body shakes to think I might be standing in the same room as the person who ordered my demise.
On the way to his place, Owen admits he confronted Dusty the same day he dealt with Chad. He said Dusty blames me forgetting fired. And it turns out Cal fired him from the store years back, and he didn’t leave on the best terms. He has a list as long as his arm of reasons to hate the McKinnons. Unfortunately for us, he might be enough of a prick to seek revenge.
A couple minutes later, we walk through his front door. Other than filling me in on Dusty, Owen makes no attempt at conversation. He lets Maui out of her crate and takes her out back without a word. When several minutes pass and he doesn’t come back in, I wobble my ass upstairs. I change into one of his T-shirts and a pair of sleep shorts and then shut myself into the bathroom to get ready for bed.
I hurt him tonight. I led him to believe I felt the same way about him, because I do. Only I wasn’t brave enough to make us a reality outside of the walls of this house. I’m out of excuses. I want to be with him, so why was I such an idiot?
I need to find him and apologize.
When I open the en suite door, he’s sitting in the chair usually in the corner of the room. He’s placed it next to the bed. His boots and his clothes are still on, and only my side of the bed is turned down.
He isn’t coming to bed with me.
“Owen, I’m sorry about tonight.”
“I don’t want to hear it. Not until you’re ready to be mine and not just under the cover of darkness. I won’t be a secret, Daisy. I deserve more than that.”
“Yes, I agree. And?—”
He cuts me off. “Get in bed. Please.”
Usually, I would make a smart-ass joke about him telling me what to do, but there isn’t a hint of humor in his voice.
Once I’m settled with the dog at my side, he opens up a navy journal and begins.
“I just spent a week in Maui with her. It was the best week of my life, yet now that I’m home, I feel lower than I’ve ever felt.Nobody on that island knew who we were. We didn’t have to hide. We just got to be us.”
My insides twist, because I know why he’s choosing this particular journal entry. I hurt him tonight like I did when we got on the plane to leave Hawaii. At the airport that day I was so wrapped up in how badly I was hurting myself, I clearly didn’t notice the impact my decisions had on Owen.
“It started the first night at the luau when the staff mistook us for a couple. We tried to correct them, but they insisted we partake in the couple’s sunset dance. Surprisingly, Daisy said, what the hell right as I was about to say the same. Holding her in my arms, around a crowd of people, like she was actually mine shifted everything. A glance at my watch confirmed what I was feeling. 5:55. My signal from the universe. I kissed her, and thank all that’s holy, she kissed me back like I was hers to kiss. After the luau, we went back to her suite. The next day I cancelled my reservation and moved my things to her room. There was no discussion about how the rest of the week would play out. We both knew there would be no keeping us apart.”
He stops, closing his eyes. My chest constricts to see him struggle with his recollection of our time together. I want to go to him. Comfort him. But I know him well enough to know he needs to get this out.
Exhaling a deep breath, he continues.
“We drove the Road to Hana, stopping along the way for banana bread and kisses under waterfalls. We snorkeled with turtles. Shopped. Drank. Ate. And we fucked until we were making love.
“I’ve been doing my best to keep that four-letter word out of the equation. But year after year, the feeling has been growing. Hell, if I’m honest with myself, I’ve known since the first time. I used Cal and the fact that we were both too young to settle down as my excuses. After the second or third time I had her, Cal wasthe only reason holding me back. But at 5:55 on a Saturday night in Maui, not even Cal was a big enough reason to deny that I am in love with Daisy McKinnon.”
I don’t gasp in shock at the revelation, because I knew it then too, but a single tear escapes. We've wasted so many years, but I had more than Cal to blame for not accepting that same four-letter word. I had my previous experiences with men clouding my judgment. I wasn’t ready then.
“The week was perfect. I didn’t want to ruin it, so I kept my feelings to myself. Then, on the way to the airport, I told her I wanted more than sneaking around. I wanted to give us a real chance. She looked at me as if I were crazy and said she couldn’t give me more than what we have. When I pressed for reasons, she of course used Cal as an excuse and some bullshit about me being the biggest skirt chaser in Central Oregon. She said I wasn’t a one-woman kind of man and that once the vacation fog wore off, I’d be glad she saved us both the trouble.”
