Her father shrugged helplessly, but when Marci looked at Amelia, the little dragoness was deep in thought. “That’s a very good question,” she said at last. “The last time I studied mortal death was before the disappearance of magic. I never made it to this side, obviously, but I knew several death gods.”
Marci’s jaw dropped. “You knewgods?”
“That’s what we called Mortal Spirits back then,” Amelia explained. “Anyway, I didn’t know the Empty Wind specifically back then, but—no surprise considering how obsessed mortals have always been with the subject—there weretons of death-related spirits who flitted around the Sea of Magic, plucking human souls out of their deaths and carrying them off to wherever was appropriate. I was actually trying to seduce one to get more information when the drought hit and all the spirits vanished. So, since I couldn’t get information and didn’t have to worry about mortality myself, I abandoned the subject and turned all my attention to planar travel. Mostly so I could get out of this newly magicless dump. But now that you bring it up, I wonder. Whatdidhappen to human souls during the drought?”
“I’m more amazed that the afterlife was apparently governed by Mortal Spirits,” Marci said. “Mortal Spirits are the ones we create, so you basically just told me that humanity makes our own gods.”
“Pretty much,” Amelia said. “But just because you thought them up doesn’t make them any less godly, or terrifying. Humans have always created their own monsters. Excluding dragons, of course. We’re imports.”
Marci nodded, head spinning. This was a lot to take in, but it made her more determined than ever to get out of here. She was teetering on the edge of so many secrets. All she had to do was reach a little further, find out just a little more, and everything would snap together. It must have been clear on her face, too, because her father sighed.
“You’re going to leave.”
It wasn’t a question, but Marci nodded anyway. “I’m sorry, Daddy, but I didn’t die to stay safe and not know. There’s so much we lost during the drought, so much knowledge that humanity needs if we’re going to survive, and I think I might be on the edge of figuring it out. Algonquin herself said the magic didn’t vanish a thousand years ago for no reason. She thinks the Merlins had a hand in it. I don’t know if that’s right, but if the return of Mortal Spirits means bringing back the gods who save the souls of the dead—that’s abig deal. Well worth risking what’s left of my death. Besides, I can’t stay here knowing that I’m living in a house built on Julius’s mourning. I don’t want him to love me when I’m dead. I want him to love me when I’m there to enjoy it. I want mylifeback, and if risking my soul is what it takes, then I’m ready. I know what I want. I’ve always known. The only thing holding me back is what happens to you.”
She hadn’t meant for that to sound quite so accusatory, but to her enormous relief, her father looked pleased rather than offended. “We always did look out for each other, didn’t we,carina?”
“Of course,” she said, reaching down to squeeze his hand. “You’re my dad.”
“And you’re my baby girl,” he whispered, squeezing back. “That’s why I had to try. I knew you wouldn’t want to stay. You’ve always charged ahead, but I had to try to keep you safe. If you are determined to see this through, though, I have no right to stop you. Your life stopped being mine to dictate years ago, just like my life is not your responsibility.”
“Of course it is,” she said angrily. “You’re my father, and you’re being sheltered bymydeath. If I leave and all of this collapses, what happens to you?”
Aldo looked deeply offended. “I might be a dead man, but I’m still a grown one. Of course I’d love to stay with you in this paradise, but what kind of father trades his daughter’s happiness for his own? And it’s not as though you’re casting me out into oblivion. I always have somewhere to go. I’m forgotten, after all.”
“No, you’re not!” Marci cried. “I remember you again. I should never have forgotten you in the first place!”
“You did what you had to do,carina,” Aldo said. “And if you’re serious about leaving, you’re going to have to do it again.”
Marci stared at him. “What?”
“Like the dragon said, I was sent here by the Empty Wind to be your guide,” he explained patiently. “If I’m to do my job, I have to return to him. He can’t find you on his own, but if you let me go, I will be his again, and the Empty Wind can always find what’s his. The only reason I haven’t gone already was because I wanted to be sure you weren’t being pushed into a decision without knowing your options. When I saw your memories, I worried the dragons were using you, but I should have known better.” He chuckled. “You’ve always done exactly as you pleased. Nothing, not death nor dragons nor spirits, can change that. What chance did I have?”
He smiled at her, but Marci shook her head stubbornly. “I can’t just forget you again. You’re my father. You raised me, taught me magic. When Mom left, you were the one who stayed. The one who loved me.” Her voice began to shake. “I already lost you twice. I can’t lose you again.”
“You already have,” he said, reaching up to brush her cheek. “I’m dead, Marci. I had my life. Even better, I had you.”
“And I forgot you!” she cried, disgusted with herself all over again, but her father was shaking his head.
“You gave me up,” he said. “There’s a difference. I’m not here because you forgot me, but because you held my memory so dear, it was strong enough to bind a god. And make no mistake, that’s what you did. I lived inside the Empty Wind. I saw his anger firsthand, the horror he could have easily become, but you never let him. You dug in your heels and held him to the nobler parts of his purpose. You kept him sane, kept him safe, which was why he was able to let me go. He’s never released a soul in his care before, but he would do far worse to get you back. The forgotten dead are constantly screaming at him, begging him to wreak their vengeance and right their wrongs. But as loud as they are, your voice is stronger. Dead or alive, you are his Merlin, the voice of his reason. You’re the one who helps him be more than just a mindless slave to the fears and emotions that created him, and as much as I would love to stay here forever with you, he needs you more than I do.”
Marci looked away. She remembered perfectly well what had happened with the dead in Algonquin’s Reclamation Land, how she’d pulled Ghost back from the brink, but it was still embarrassing to hear all of that stuff from her dad. Much as it made her cringe, though, he was right. Ghost could be every bit as aloof as the cat he pretended to be, but when things got bad, she was the one he clung to. After Emily had shot her, he’d begged harder than Julius for Marci not to leave him alone. Ultimately, that was why she’d taken his hand. Not just because he saw the path to becoming a Merlin, but because as much as she’d wanted to stay with Julius, she knew her dragon could go on without her. Ghost couldn’t. He was her spirit, her responsibility, and no matter the odds, Marci had to get back to him.
“Okay,” she whispered, lifting her eyes at last. “What do I have to do?”
Aldo looked down at their tangled hands. “Let me go.”
Marci gritted her teeth. Even when he told her to, unclamping her hands from his felt like a betrayal of everything she cared about: her family, her childhood, her old dreams. Her father was such a huge part of her life before the DFZ, Marci didn’t know how things would make sense without him. But as she stared at her fingers, trying to work up the courage to unlock them, Aldo leaned forward to rest his forehead against hers.
“It’s all right,carina,” he whispered. “Even if you don’t remember me, I’ll always remember you. In a life of foolishness and failure, you were the one thing I got right. You are my darling now and forever, and I will never stop being proud of you.”
Marci closed her eyes with a sigh. “You’re not making this easier.”
“You never did the easy thing,” he said with a laugh. “But it’s time to let go.” He leaned down to kiss her cheek. “Goodbye, Marcivale.”
She couldn’t answer. All her goodbyes came out as sobs as she opened her hands at last.
The moment her fingers went slack, the warmth of her father’s hand was replaced by bitter cold that cut like a knife. When she looked down to see why, though, all she found was a thread.
