*
THEGLAREOFsunlight on snow stings my eyes. I blink. Something warm presses against my shoulders and thighs, fur tickles my face. I breathe in musk and amber. A jagged pulse beats beneath my ear. The fragments come together like puzzle pieces, slowly forming a complete picture. I scramble to free myself, as I realise whose chest I’m crushed against, whose strong arms hold me.
‘Are you able to stand?’ Blayze’s voice is strained, rough.
I crick my neck to look up at him. Some emotion I can’t place flits across his tight, drawn features. Despite the cold, his brow glistens with a sheen of sweat. Serafine’s perched on his shoulder, the burning amber lamps of her eyes searching my face almost as intently as his.
‘I… I think so.’
He sets me down gently, as though I were a thing of glass rather than blood and bone, or perhaps a dangerous substance he’s afraid will explode. I press my heels into the snow, try to stand, but my legs buckle beneath me. Blayze moves to gather me back into his arms.
Astrophel darts to my side. ‘I’ll look after her from here.’
He’s staring at me too. Little furrows carve his brow as he places my arm about his neck and slips his own around my waist, supporting my weight. Blayze opens his mouth to say something, but Astrophel shoots him a warning look. He swallows and stands aside to let us pass.
I look down at myself. Nothing seems amiss. I’m aching and bruised, but I can’t see anything broken.
Astrophel turns back to Blayze. ‘How did you get her out so quickly? I tried to catch you up, to help carry her. But you practically flew up that tunnel.’
Blayze shrugs. ‘Can I help that you move like one of the aged, Peacock?’
Maris stands a few paces behind us, hunched over, supporting Delphine. ‘No, Astrophel’s right. I’ve never seen anyone run like that.’ Delphine is crouched on the snow, gulping the thin, bitter air, trembling and alarmingly pale.
Tansy is a little way ahead of us, stroking Briar’s flank. ‘People perform extraordinary feats in times of crisis,’ she says. Beside them, the cragstalkers lie curled close to one another, panting hard. Heroes, every one of them. I hope I can make them understand how grateful I am.
‘It was nothing,’ Blayze snaps, rubbing the back of his neck.
The contempt in his voice causes something to shrivel in my chest. But what did I expect? Why should Blayze be concerned about my welfare? I almost killed him. I almost killed all of them.
‘What happened to me?’ I stammer, pulling my cloak close to guard against the chill. Making sure the hood is drawn low. Someone must have taken it from Delphine when I collapsed, given it back to me.
‘You had us all worried.’ Astrophel is staring again, studying me with the appraising eye Izarius reserves for his star-maps, his brow pleating as my tutor’s does when he sees something in those records he doesn’t like. Maybe I sustained a head injury, something I can’t see? That might explain the spiced scent still haunting me – a delusion. I raise my free hand to my face, my hair. But everything feels normal, and my fingers come away clean, no trace of blood.
‘You kept slipping in and out of consciousness. I don’t know if the cold weakened you, or… or what you did before the avalanche, but you should never have given Delphine your cloak. That was foolish.’ Astrophel looks away.
I don’t blame him. They have every right to fear me, to be disgusted by what I’m capable of.
‘Any sign of the guards?’ I ask, scanning the mountainside.
Blayze shakes his head. ‘I doubt any survived the mountain falling on their heads.’
I swallow, squeezing my eyes shut. So many. Did I really kill so many? The thought chills me more than the bitter wind, more than the snow swirling my shoulders, and yet the guilt doesn’t pierce deep as it should. As if part of my heart froze numb while I lay unconscious on the mountainside.
‘We should make for Talini,’ I say, nodding towards the sinking sun. ‘Find shelter before moonsrise.’
And tomorrow, I’ll set about searching for the clue Noelani’s letter promised.
Tansy turns towards the pack, a rueful smile spreading across her face. ‘Briar can ask them if they’ll carry us, though the poor creatures must be exhausted.’
While we await their reply, I try to piece together my hazy memories of escaping the watchtower. My mind feels roomier than usual, like a chamber emptied of its furniture. And it’s only now that I realise what – who – is missing.
I break away from Astrophel, step unsteadily towards Maris and Delphine, who are closer to the mouth of the tunnel the cragstalkers burrowed through the snowdrift. My gaze darts left and right, scanning the mountain.
Is this why everyone’s been on edge, looking so concerned? They don’t know how to tell me.
‘Where’s Orthriel?’ I breathe.
Their heartcrystal was already dim. They never should have flared.
