I grunt and try again for the ice, the swing wild, useless.
The strain in my good arm is building to a searing burn. I bite down on my lip and close my eyes. I don’t want to see the ground rise up to meet me. My fingers start to slip. Leilani is screaming again. Real terror in her cries. It’s the same keening pitch as when the Clanschief fell through the ice. A stupid thought at such a moment, but it’s nice to know she’ll mourn me.
I never got to tell her my hopes for our future, how much I regret all the wasted time. I never got to make amends for Thawtide. Give her the first kiss she deserved.
Another finger slips.
I screw my eyes tighter. Then force them open. No, I’ll not die a coward. I’ll look my end in the face, like a true member of The Nine.
‘Blayze!’
I don’t have time to register Leilani’s wild cry – what it means. The wind is choked out of me as warm, thick fingers clamp around my bad wrist. I howl in pain, but the sting swiftly fades. Relief buzzing through me as the rock face slams hard and cold against my cheek.
As the Clanschief draws me back to the mountain.
‘Blayze,’ Leilani screams again, the sound piercing through me, splintering something in its desperate shrillness.
On instinct, I lift my second axe, drive it back into the ice.
‘You got a hold?’ The question comes gruff from above. I’ve no breath left in me to answer. I can only nod. It’s enough. His grip relaxes, eases off me, and Blayze utters a harsh groan as he stabs at the ice himself.
I’m alive. And it’s thanks to the Clanschief.
‘Don’t beat yourself up about it, Peacock,’ he shouts, reading my thoughts. ‘Let’s call it part-settlement of that ink-oath. A life for a life, but I still owe you for Serafine.’ His words come rough, bracketed by sharp breaths, but the man is joking, actually joking. And for all I’m grateful to him, something primitive bridles at the patronising edge to his words. I’ve been unmanned in front of Leilani. Made to look weak.
But pettiness aside, his jokes make light of an inescapable truth. This man and I, this man I’ve hated, this man my rival in more ways than one, we owe each other our lives. We’re bound to one another despite our differences. There’s nothing funny about that.
Blayze’s boots inch upwards as he restarts his climb.
I’m still panting, both arms screaming in pain. But it’s time to move.
My strokes are tentative this time. I test my axe before I heave on it, glance down at Leilani before I drive with my legs. Tears diamond her cheeks, but relief splits her face as she smiles up at me. A sunbeam escaping from behind clouds. Her eyes are still the fathomless pools of lilac they’ve ever been. My chest expands.
The battle is not lost. Not yet.
The pebble cuts at my foot again. Bitter thoughts crowd in, puncturing the swell in my breast. Who were her tears for?
As our eyes lock on the desolate mountainside, I make a decision. The future is never promised. The last few minutes have proved that. I’ll take Delphine’s advice. I won’t wait any longer, won’t wait for Leilani to choose him. Once we reach this last ledge, the one leading to the Ice Steps, I’ll tell her how I feel. I’ll make her listen to me. I’ll make her see that we have a future – that together we can build a better future for the realm we both love. Even Shadow-gripped, she won’t want to throw that away. Not for him.
I strike at the ice with renewed purpose.
The pain in my arm horseplay compared to the pain racking my chest at the possibility that she might.
FOOTPRINTS IN THE FROST
LEILANI
IGRASPTHElast frosted ledge and haul upwards, dragging myself to the foot of the Ice Steps. Grimacing, I reach back for my climbing axes, yank them from the mountain, and collapse on the cold, hard ground.
‘We made it!’ I pant, crawling towards the others, once I’ve regained enough strength in my limbs to move. They’re huddled for warmth a safe distance from the precipice. It’s hard to force the words out, the air is so thin and bitter. A good thing we’re almost at the summit, for the tincture is wearing off fast and the bolstering effects of Nimbi’s waters have already ebbed. We can’t weather this much longer. My head is pounding, dizziness a constant companion. Stars only know how the Outrealmers are coping.
I brave a glance at the summit and instantly regret it. The Ice Steps loom overhead, yawning towards the brightest point of the mountain’s corona: the site of the Starfields, the entrance to the Crystal Caves, our journey’s end – or this leg of it, at any rate, though the others still don’t know this is only the start.
The steps are steeper than I expected; my legs ache just looking at them. We’ll still need our ice-shoes to climb them, but at least we can dispense with the axes. Almost losing Astrophel, almost losing Blayze on that last climb… I can’t go through that again.
I can scarcely feel my fingers for the cold as I peel off my gloves. It’s as I thought – my palms shimmer silver with congealed blood. My grip on the axes has reopened the sores that barely had a chance to scab overnight. I ease myself towards Tansy. I’ll ask for another batch of salve for my hands – but one look at her stills my tongue. Something’s wrong, and you don’t need to be the last Starborn to see it. Her eyes are glassy as the surface of the Ice Steps, her face oddly drawn. Now I think about it, she’s been quiet ever since we left Nimbi.
I study her more closely. Her aura is dark-edged, like a mourning card. Perhaps she’s missing Briar? My brandsong bristles, a cool flickering like the shake of a head. No, it’s more than that. Something else is bothering her. But before I have a chance to discover what that something is, Blayze lays a heavy hand on my shoulder.
