Maris searches my face, worries her bottom lip. ‘Something changed after you collapsed. Your hair – it’sstreaked. Orthriel thought…’ She looks to Tansy for support. ‘They said it’s a Shadow Mark.’
‘Impossible,’ I croak. ‘I’ve never performed a blood rite. I’ve never invoked Shadow Lore.’
‘No.’ Maris shakes her head. ‘You haven’t.’
‘So how—’
‘Orthriel thinks it’s the starstone. Something to do with you being able to summon starshine. Noelani could only do it after the Blood Bond, once she possessed the Sister-Stones.’
My hands fly to the chain about my neck. I’ve already made the connection between the ancient relic and my ability to summon starshine, but how does that add up to a Shadow Mark? Why didn’t Orthriel explain any of this before they dematerialised? Perhaps they’re mistaken… But as I stare down at the pendant, it strikes me: that faint murky flicker at its heart.
It still contains Shadow after the Elemagi’s blood rite. Something must have happened when we carved it to make the tincture. Somehow, I’ve unleashed the dark powers it contains.
I loop the chain around my fingers, pulling it tight so the diamonds bite my skin. The urge to rip it from my throat is strong, but something stays my hand. The starstone is still half the key to my mother’s salvation, and I’ve grown attached to it: the comfort of its strange, crystalline rhythm, the lure of that dizzying power that blazed through me when I brought the mountain to its knees.
A little of the Dusk Sister’s magic must have leached into my body each and every time I appropriated powers not rightfully mine. The splitting headaches, the ash, the numbness in my chest… How much of my soul have I already surrendered? How much of my humanity remains?
That settles it. I’ll never summon starshine again.
Orthriel was right. It’s too dangerous.
And what about the lost sceptre, the other half to the Sister-Stones? Is that why it’s needed to revoke the Sickening – a cursed object to revoke a curse? If we manage to find it, what manner of thing is it I’ll wield?
And that settles that question too. I have to get to the Starshrine – Tansy and Maris’ objections be damned. Searching for Noelani’s last clue, and perhaps finding the Book of Mysteries while I’m about it, is even more important now. I want this over with – to complete my task, then find a way to free myself from this star-damned magic, once and forever.
A normal life. Is that too much to ask?
Thudding boots sound on the stairs. The double doors leading from the hallway into the receiving chamber crash open and Blayze and Astrophel burst through them, Serafine swooping behind. Their shoulders are dusted with snow, and Blayze swings two hare carcasses by the ears. It’s pleasing, seeing them together, working as a team.
Relief flushes Astrophel’s face as he enters the dressing chamber and pushes back his hood. ‘Ah, Leilani, you’re awake.’
Maris points to the hares. ‘Is that all you caught? You’ve been gone hours.’
‘Slim pickings,’ Blayze says. ‘We’re lucky the frostfangs left anything at all.’
‘I told Leilani what Orthriel said when she collapsed,’ Maris blurts out.
Astrophel’s face darkens. ‘Peak’s sake! We all agreed not to say anything till we know for certain.’
‘She’s not a child. Everyone needs to stop treating her like one,’ Maris lashes back. ‘You’ve all seen what she can do.’
‘Yes,’ Blayze mutters. That familiar look of fear mingling with disgust that accompanies any reference to my magic once again contorts his features.
‘She’s going to the Starshrine to hunt for clues.’ Tansy shakes her head. ‘We’ve tried stopping her. Perhaps you two can knock some sense into her.’
‘I feel fine.’ I try to force conviction into my voice.
Astrophel’s mouth thins. ‘If you’re really set on going, I’m coming with you. Orthriel said—’
‘I can’t share the sceptre’s location with you, remember? I have to go alone.’
‘I thought… After what happened at Galtair, I thought…’ He draws himself straighter. ‘Haven’t we proved our loyalty?’
Maris sniffs. ‘I agree with Astrophel. Why shouldn’t we be trusted with the location of your precious sceptre when we’re all risking our lives equally in pursuit of it?’
‘I want to tell you,’ I say. ‘But I can’t. Especially after what happened in Galtair. There are those who would blackmail, torture, even kill for this information. For your sakes, I have to keep it secret.’
My words are met with raised eyebrows, cold stares and even colder shoulders, each one hurtful as a slap to the face. The air is thick with their disappointment. Maris turns away in disgust, Astrophel won’t meet my eye. He wears a pinched, wounded expression, and all my previous reservations about him and our future life together, the ones that mellowed after his actions in Galtair and that conversation in the cave, come flooding back.
