We sit at the table, and he pours us both a large measure.
He raises his glass and I clink mine to his before we both take a sip. I lean back in my chair and nurse my drink.
“How are you doing?” he asks, and I look up.
“I’d like to say I’m tired, but I think that would be patronising to Amelia.”
He chuckles lightly and continues, “You think you have it all planned out but then they come along, and it changes everything. I think Amelia is just overwhelmed tonight, she’ll settle down into a routine soon enough and she’ll find her way.”
“That’s what I told her.”
He smiles but it soon falls.
“When I first met you, I offered to pay you to stay away. You didn’t even think about accepting it, did you?”
“Not for a single second.”
“I then offered to set you up with a job with prospects at my publishing house and you declined. Now she’s here, I’ll offer you it again. Don’t answer me now, think about it. It would changeyour life. Not only that, but do you want her growing up seeing you run the streets, thinking it’s normal?”
I haven’t thought that far ahead, and I don’t appreciate him putting me on the spot.
“I agree it will be something I’ll have to deal with in time but working for you isn’t the path for me to take at this time.”
“Given what you do, I like you, Darius. You’re the father of my granddaughter and someone my daughter cares deeply for. While I have the means, my offer will always be open. I beg that you take it seriously and seriously think it over. It’s no good having a father if you can only see him through a sheet of glass so many times a month or having to visit their grave.”
He knows full well where my father is, and to use it against me now has me shooting back the rest of my drink.
“I told Amelia I’d stay and help with the baby. I’m going to check on them before trying to get some sleep.”
Pushing out of my chair, I’m nearly at the doorway when he says, “You’re a father now, every decision you make isn’t based on what’s best for you, it’s all about her. I hope you make the right decision.”
Pressure builds inside me, and I head into the living room, careful not to wake Amelia and sit beside the crib.
One thing Mr. Haynes is right about is every decision I make going forward needs to be for my kid.
26
Amelia
After my meltdown a few weeks ago, I’m enjoying the Christmas break catching up on schoolwork, spending time with Elsa and finding my new way in life. I knew it was going to be hard but so far, it’s been bearable. I’m a little behind with my schoolwork but every moment Elsa sleeps, I hit the books. Tomorrow is Christmas and my father has invited Darius and his family over for dinner. Catherine has been baking and preparing for the last couple of days. And I’ve been trying hard not to go overboard with presents for Elsa-Marie. She’s far too young to understand what’s going on and she really doesn’t need anything.
Darius is staying over tonight and picking his family up in the morning. He wanted to be here in the morning to share her first Christmas. I stare at myself in the mirror and run my hand over my stomach. I’ve lost a lot of the baby weight, but I’ve still got a little pouch and I’ll be sad if it goes. I miss being pregnant in some ways.
“You don’t have to hide up here all night. Elsa’s down for a while at least, we could watch a holiday movie or something.”
I jump at his voice and turn around to find him hovering in my bedroom doorway.
“You want to watch a holiday movie?” I mutter.
He shrugs his shoulders. “Have you ever watched a holiday movie?”
“Nah, but it’s what you people do at Christmas, isn’t it?”
I can’t help but laugh.
“Sure why not. I’ll pick since you don’t know the good ones.”
Down in the living room, I take the armchair, and his brow arches.
