He scowls at me and stops walking.
“I’m out of my depth with you. I always have been. You believe I don’t care, and I haven’t exactly proved you wrong, but I do, in my own way, I fucking care but it’s not enough for you.”
I struggle to both breathe and process.
“I have all these perceptions of what raising a kid should look like, basically everything my parents didn’t do, but then we’re not together and I still want to do this as normal as possible. I’m asking you not to go on dates till well after you have the baby. I’m an asshole, I’m fully-fucking-aware of it, but I’m still asking.”
A spark of hope ignites inside me, and I find myself nodding.
“Thank you.”
He spins me around and we’re at my car. Finding my keys in my purse, I turn to face him.
“We’ll find our way, Darius. Everything will work out the way it’s supposed to.”
He nods and I climb into the car and quickly turn the heat on.
“I’ll see you Thursday.”
He nods again and closes my door. For a moment I think he has to walk the two streets back to the theatre, but I watch him cross the street and jump in Jermaine’s car.
From now on, I’m going to work on clearing my heart of Darius Madden. He shouldn’t own mine if I don’t own his.
23
Darius
“Go put a shirt on, smarten yourself up, boy.”
Looking down at myself, my hoodie is fine.
“Don’t just stare, go change. Amelia and her father will be here soon.”
“They know who I am, Grandma, a shirt won’t cover the gangbanging persona I have going on.”
I drop the smirk when she purses her lips.
“Fine, I’ll go change.”
It takes less than five minutes to dig out my only button down, the one I reserve for court appearances. Doing the last button up, a knock at the door has my heart pounding. I get why my grandmother wants to spend the holiday with the Haynes but my plan to keep my distance from Amelia is already on shaky ground. Thinking she was on a date nearly killed me. The thought of anyone touching her, kissing her, receiving her smiles she reserves for the guy she’s into rips me apart. It will happen one day and even though I’ll want to put my gun between his eyes and squeeze the trigger, I’ll have no right to. I can only get away with being an asshole now because she’s pregnant.
“You better get that, we wouldn’t want them leaving.”
Ignoring my mom, I answer the door and Amelia and Mr. Haynes look odd as fuck on my doorstep.
“Happy thanksgiving,” he says, and I put on the brightest smile I have the energy for.
“You too. Please, come in.”
The awkwardness is tangible as they step inside and linger in the hall.
“Here.” Amelia shoves a dish at me. “I made a pie. I burned the first one, and the second one, this one turned out okay. I think. It’s pumpkin.”
“Thanks. Come and sit down. Ma’s been cooking all day.”
She’s also been tidying like a woman possessed. I take them through to the living room and my grandma stands wearing a huge smile. That shit right there makes this worthwhile.
“Grandma, this is Mr. Haynes, Amelia’s father. Mr. Haynes, this is my grandmother Marie.”
