“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why do you care if she drags me down? As long as the baby is looked after, why do you care about me considering I only see you when it’s about the baby.”
“Just stay away from her, Amelia. I won’t warn you again.”
“Oh, you won’t?” she snaps. “And what is it you’re exactly going to do if I don’t?”
She steps away but I match her steps, blocking her against the door. Bracing my arm above her head, she looks up at me and purses her lips together.
“I only have so much patience. I don’t advise pushing me further than you can handle. I can’t have you, but it doesn’t mean I’m not around and I will make sure you steer clear of that fucking bitch. She put herself in that situation tonight, she wasdealing with Tariq. She can’t even check in on you these days, you think she’d do the same for you?”
She loses her fight, and her shoulders relax. She knows I’m right. I need her to see it.
“Like I said, I don’t even hear from her much anymore.”
“If she calls and wants you to run around after her, don’t. If I hear you have, I’ll make her pay.”
Scrunching her face up in disgust, she spits out, “I should never have gone anywhere near you.”
That shit hurts but I don’t let it show.
“But you did, and now you’re tied to me for the rest of your life. When I feel you could be in danger, I’m going to step in, you best believe that.”
“Fine, I get it. You can leave now.”
Inhaling deeply without her noticing, I notice she’s changed her shampoo. Pushing away from the door, I dig out the roll of cash from my inside pocket.
“Here.” I toss it to her. “It’s for the kid.”
“I don’t need it.”
“It’s not for you, it’s for the baby. I told you I’d pull my weight.”
Crossing the room, I make it to the window when she says, “I’ll make you a deal.”
I freeze and she carries on, “I’ll stay away from Clare if you promise to stay away from me. We’ll still go to the doctor appointments, I’ll still send you updates, but for the rest of the pregnancy, I don’t want you popping up whenever you like. I need to find my own way without you.”
Without me. It’s what I’ve been wanting but shit if it doesn’t gut me.
Turning to face her, I nod. “Deal.”
I climb out of her window and light a cigarette as soon as my feet the ground. I suck on the poison needing my lungs to burn just to feel anything but her.
22
Amelia
Iwake up, throw up, shower, go to class, come home and do it all again the next day. Darius’s daily texts have stopped, and I’ve seen him twice in the last month. Without him around, I have my routines, and I’m loving how I control everything in my life. He was right, all it took was time to get used to us being nothing more than co-parents. I can admit I’m not strong enough to be around him and not be with him. It all comes crashing back and I feel like shit.
Thanksgiving is coming up and since Catherine is going to visit her family for the holidays, Dad and I are going to share cooking duties. It should be a fun disaster since neither of us have much experience in the cooking department. I’m halfway through my shopping list when the doorbell rings. It’s rare when someone visits. I make my way to the door and stop short when Darius is stood before me.
He never shows up at my door. Climbs through my window, sure, but never rings the bell.
“Hey.” It’s the only thing I can think of to say.
“Hey, can I come in?”
