“Hey!”
She skips over and leans against my car. She’s unhealthily skinny, her face gaunt and drawn in.
“Are you waiting for Tariq?” I ask.
“Yeah, he’s running late as usual. Oh my God, it feels like forever since I last saw you,” she exclaims.
“We definitely need to catch up,” I say but it feels flat like I know it will never happen.
Her face falls, she’s remembering what happened the last time we saw each other.
“I’m sorry I told Darius about the baby, I’ve been having a shitty few weeks. I don’t know what I’m doing most of the time.”
That’ll be the cocaine, but I don’t want to fight with her, so I say, “It’s okay, he was bound to find out eventually.”
“How’s it going with him?”
“It’s not. He says he’ll be there for the baby so I guess I’ll just have to wait and see if he keeps his word.”
“He totally lost it when he found out, started throwing furniture around and everything.”
It shocks me to hear this and I frown. It goes quiet between us, and I struggle to think of something to say. It’s weird. This isn’t how it should be between best friends.
“How are you doing?” I blurt out.
“I’m good. I’m…” She’s distracted by something up the street and with one glance in the sidemirror I see why. Tariq drives up and parks behind me.
It’s like Clare comes alive when he’s nearby.
“Yo, baby, you coming or what?” he hollers and I hate him a little bit more.
I count down from three in my head and she doesn’t let me down. She drops me like a hot potato and gives me a lame apologetic look before saying, “Sorry, babe, gotta go.”
She doesn’t hang around long enough to hear my goodbye. In the mirror, I watch her climb in the back, no doubt with Tariq, as Jermaine is behind the wheel and Darius is in the passenger seat. I go to turn my engine on when he gets out and strolls over.
“You only getting home from class now?” he asks.
“I went shopping,” is all I say.
“Are you okay? You seemed upset as we were leaving.”
Feigning ignorance, I lie, “I’m fine.”
I don’t care if he believes me or not. I went shopping to distract myself from thinking about all the things I’m never going to have.
“If that’s all, I need to go.”
I don’t wait for his answer. I shoot off up the street and key in the code for the gates to open.
The rumble of Jermaine’s car passes by and jealousy consumes me. I’m all alone while everyone else gets to do what they want…bewith who they want.
19
Darius
Her bedroom window is open, and a soft glow burns out. I climb up the trellis and slip inside with ease. She’s sat on her bed, playing music to her bump. She doesn’t stress or even flinch at my arrival, and it pisses me off. I could’ve been anyone climbing up. For the amount of money her father has, their security is shit.
“You should keep the window closed. Anyone could come through.”
