“My boy is important around here, to me, to his brothers, you were a distraction for him, and distractions around here get you killed. You don’t have the first idea what it is like. You might not think you’re trouble because you come from a nice home, but you’re the worst kind for him.”
She throws open her door and puts her umbrella up. I jump as she slams the door after her and stare as she runs back into the house.
I don’t understand what just happened. I knew she didn’t like me much, but now I know she doesn’t like me at all.
Darius once said the universe kept bringing us together, maybe the universe is trying to tell me to keep the baby to myself. This is the second time I’ve tried telling him and it hasn’t worked out.
I drive home seeing a future flashing before me. Just me and my baby, school and making a career for myself.
I won’t need a thing from him. My child won’t need a thing from him. I just wish I could let go and find the anger I need to stop the pain of missing him.
15
Darius
Counting the cash from last night’s drop off, I lose count when Clare stumbles down the stairs. Ignoring her sombre mood, I start again and pretend she isn’t here.
Dropping a grand on the coffee table, I pick up the joint in the ashtray and take a long hit and put it back down.
Picking up another wad of bills, I flick through them counting to a grand and drop it beside the other piles.
Clare drops onto her knees opposite me and snorts a line of coke and the sound goes straight through me. There isn’t anything she does that doesn’t annoy the shit out of me.
“You paying for that?” I grunt.
“My ass still hurts from last night, Tar can pay, he owes me.”
Curling my top lip in disgust, I snap, “Fuck off with that shit, I don’t need to know the lengths you go to get high.”
She looks up at me and I watch on as she widens her eyes to focus on me.
“You think you’re so much better than me, don’t you? But I wouldn’t talk to me like that if I were you, not with what I know.”
Rolling my eyes, I carry on counting the cash. I’m not playing her games for her entertainment.
Tariq plods down the stairs, dressed in a pair of basketball shorts and nothing else. Clare’s eyes eat him up and the disgust I feel toward her rapidly returns. He drops down on the armchair, leaning forward to grab at her and hauls her up onto his lap. He licks at her neck and sucks on her earlobe. His need to have constant contact with her is tiring to watch and repulsive.
“I thought you were going to see Amelia this morning.”
I can’t help but tense at the mention of her name. Keeping my eyes on the cash, I keep my ears open and listen in on their conversation.
“I was until I chickened out.”
“You still haven’t told me what you fought about. It couldn’t have been that serious.”
“I don’t agree with the choices she’s making. She’s ruining her life and she can’t see it.”
I finally look at her, giving her what she wants. My reaction.
“What choices?”
“Like I’d tell you,” she spits.
“You might like his dick up your ass, but I doubt you’ll enjoy my gun up there.”
To prove my threat, I pick up my shooter and click the safety off. Now I’m the one who gets the reaction I need.
She gulps and shuffles deeper back on Tariq’s lap.
