“A nanny?”
“We’re going to need help while I’m at work and you’re in class. Plenty of people use day care, having a nanny is not so different.”
It’s so much to take on board but he makes sense. I agree to have help while I’m in class, but I want to be a mom, I want to do as much as I can myself.
“What about Catherine?”
“She’s coming up to retirement.” He clears his throat and wipes his mouth with his napkin. “There’s one more matter we need to discuss.”
“What’s that?”
“The father. You don’t need him popping up in the future causing trouble. I’m guessing he knows which side of the city you’re from, he could try and play on it.”
It turns out I didn’t know anything about Darius, but I do know he’d rather cut off his right hand then come to me for money.
“I don’t know…”
He cuts me off with a flick of his hand. “He needs to sign over his rights. There’s no need for you to stress about it, I’ll deal with it. I doubt he could afford a legal team on par with mine. It will be dealt with swiftly,” he assures me.
It’s all so much to think about. Darius doesn’t even know about the baby, he’ll have the shock of his life when a lawyer shows up on his doorstep demanding he sign a bunch of paperwork.
“Amelia. I need a name.”
But then again, if my father will deal with it, it’s better to get this moving along.
“Darius Madden.”
He nods once and goes back to eating his breakfast. Every time I think I’m in my own world where nothing can touch me, not even anxiety, it’s right there slapping me across the face.
Roaming the aisles in the bookstore, I find the baby books I’m looking for and there are so many to choose from. I read each title and pluck out the ones on pregnancy. My dad’s being helpful and all, but he only knows stuff from what he saw from his point of view with my mom eighteen years ago. The leaflets the doctor gave me don’t go into much detail and I want to be prepared.
Paying for my haul, I dump the lot on my passenger seat. Turning the engine on, I find myself driving deeper into Dog City. I woke up this morning promising myself I wasn’t going to worry about Darius anymore, yet maybe I should try one more time in case he hears it from Clare. God, I hate these back-and-forth thoughts. Maybe if I go stay with my aunt down south, the confusion will have no choice but to disappear. That would never work, he’s in my head everywhere I go.
Heavy rain drops begin to fall and I turn my wipers on just as I turn onto his street. No one is sat out in front of Tariq’s house, not that I’d ever approach his door again.
I stop outside Darius’s house and before I can open my door and run through the rain. His front door opens and his mom jogs down the front path holding an umbrella.
She swings open the gate and knocks on my passenger window. I unlock the door, moving the books from the seat before she lets herself in, dumping the umbrella in the footwell.
“What are you doing here, Amelia?”
“Is Darius home?”
“No, and he won’t be back for a few days. I saw you pull up and thought I’d save you the trouble of getting out in the rain.”
“He won’t talk to me,” I say lamely.
“Because he doesn’t wish to see you anymore. Don’t be one of those girls who chase a man, a man who doesn’t want them. It’s pathetic and the only one who hurts is you. Believe me, I know my son, he doesn’t commit to anything but his gang and his family. He’s made you neither. Go home and be whatever it is your family wishes you to be.”
I should tell her I’m pregnant, that would definitely shut her up, but then she’d probably kill me.
“I…”
She holds her hand up to stop me.
“Don’t say you love him…”
“That wasn’t what I was going to say, Ms. Madden.”
