“I don’t think we have enough decorations.”
Rolling my eyes at Darius’s attempt at sarcasm, I ignore his jibe and look around as he wraps his arms around me from behind. I admit, I’ve gone overboard for the holidays. I missed last year’s festivities and perhaps I’m trying to make up for it, but who am I harming. No one.
Darius moved in with us the day after he showed me the house for his family. We’ve agreed to live with dad until he has saved enough for a deposit for our own house. Dad has offered to buy us one but Darius outright refuses. I guess it’s a pride thing. Whatever it is, I don’t mind spending time with dad before we move out. Neither of us have heard from Mom and I don’t expect to hear from her anytime soon. Mr. Burley is the one who hasn’t surprised me at all. Clare disappeared over a year ago and he hasn’t even reported her missing. He has no idea she’s dead and buried in an unmarked grave. To him, according to my dad, he believes her habit had her running off with some drug dealer. I sometimes wonder how different Clare’s life would’ve been if her mom hadn’t have died. But then I remember what she did to me, and she becomes another memory I have to live with but move on from.
“What time are you picking up Marie, your mom and the boys tomorrow?”
“9 a.m. sharp, just like you told me to.”
Turning in his hold, I look up at him and wind my arms around his waist.
“Maybe they should stay over, and then we can all wake up and open the gifts together?”
“Babe, your dad has his work thing giving us the house to ourselves, all I want tonight is for me, you, and Elsa to have our first proper Christmas Eve together. We can light the fire, drink hot cocoa, put on a holiday movie, whatever you want, I don’t care, as long as it’s just us.”
I hug him close and then kiss him. It’s brief, and never enough, but I have a lot to do before Elsa wakes up from her nap.
“Can you bring the presents down from the guest room.”
“Sure.”
He plants one last kiss on me before disappearing upstairs and I give the tree one last look of appreciation. To me, this is the starting point of moving on. The first few weeks after being released had me in a dream like state. I spent every minute of the day with Elsa and the nights locked in my room with Darius. Come January, everything that’s happened is being left in the past where it belongs.
“It’s going to take me at least five trips…”
Over my shoulder, Darius walks in with four large gift bags full of gifts. Smiling, I take half his haul and sit by the tree to set them out.
“You know, there’ll be a time where Elsa’s going to have brothers and sisters. Christmas is gonna cost us a fortune if you go this overboard every year.”
All the air in my lungs becomes trapped. “Brothers and sisters?”
His smile is truly wicked, and he kneels beside me. “You look hot as fuck carrying my kid, our daughter is perfect, why the fuck wouldn’t I knock you up at every opportunity.”
Heat creeps over my cheeks and I brush off the memories of him constantly pushing me away during Elsa’s pregnancy.
“How many kids are you planning exactly?”
“At least two boys and another girl. I’d love it if the boys were twins like my brothers, but if not, I get to see you knocked up again.”
“How about we get through the next four years of me finishing school and then we’ll talk about it.”
“I can deal with that.”
I was young having Elsa, but I wouldn’t change a thing when it comes to her, but baby number two will be planned.
I love how he talks about our future and how it looks. I know what he’s given up for me and Elsa and what it took for him to change every aspect of his life. I will love this man for the rest of my life and if he wants a big family, then that’s what he’ll have.
Later that night, the three of us are tucked under a blanket on the couch and the movie has just finished, not that Elsa stayed awake long enough to watch it all. Halfway through I did picture our future kids all tucked up with us. After our conversation earlier, I see it all with him. I don’t move a muscle and nor does Darius, Elsa’s soft snores between us.
“I have a gift I want to give you now.”
“It’s not Christmas yet,” I tell him.
Looking at the clock on the mantle, he shrugs, “It’s close enough.”
I watch him as he leans over and lifts one of the couch cushions, picking up a small black box. He angles his body so he’s facing me and stretches his arm along the top of the cushions, stroking the loose strands of hair back behind my ear.
“I knew you were different when Tariq dragged you out of that club and we had to lay low that night. I saw it in the way you moved, the way you spoke. If I could go back and changeeverything that’s happened, I would, but I’d never change meeting you, or having Elsa.”
