Elijah kicks at the dirt. "Sev's right. It never leads anywhere. He still talks in circles."
I want to argue.Fuck,I want to do more than argue. I want to take him away from here. Away from all his medication and his fucking nurses, and bring him home withus. It can't be good for him, living in his delusions all the time.
Maybe if he were forced to live in the real world for longer than a few months, he would gain some clarity. Get healthier. Maybe even remember something that could help us.
Because we've tried. In the beginning, we triedso hardto get him to recall anything that could lead us to the stolen art, and then later, to lead us to Elijah…but it was all gibberish. All dead ends. All riddles and stories, and scribbles on the floor.
If we could get his mind really clear, then?—
"No, Atty," Elijah says, reading my mind.
He sets his jaw as Seven helps the nurse walk Julian to the mouth of the trailhead that will lead them back to the house. "He's been through enough."
There's so much I want to say, but I don't. I won't make things worse between us.
But there's another reason I don't protest. It's ugly, and I have no idea if it's true, but it disgusts me that it might be.
Because I don't know if I want to bring Julian home to help him be healthier, or because of my own obsessive need to know the secrets locked up in his unraveled mind.
It's moments like these that I'm glad to have Eli and Sev to temper my worst impulses.
If only one of them were there that morning when I saw the message on Aurora's phone…
They aren't always going to be there.
I let go of the tension still winding in my chest and force in a breath. "You're right."
His brow furrows.
"I'm sorry."
Those words seem to be coming easier lately. I wonder when that happened.
Eli jerks his head in the direction Aurora went with Ellie, already starting to get that distant look in his eyes. The one healways gets after a visit that ends badly. "We should head back to the car."
I fall into step next to him as Seven jogs back to meet us, leaving the nurse to take Julian the rest of the way. It's only about a hundred meters through the trees and if I squint from the incline of the hill, I can make out the tops of the Ashford house's old brick chimneys.
"She spoke to me," I find myself saying. "I didn't think she would, but…"
"It's a start," Eli agrees.
I nod, but there’s a sick feeling roiling in my gut. Hope and dread twisted together so tight I can’t tell them apart.
It’s more than the sour end to another visit with Julian.
Something’s coming. I can feel it.
I just hope we’re ready.
14
GIVE A MAN AN INCH…
AURORA
"Can I stay the weekend?"
The ride from the pond has been so quiet, but we're getting close to where Atticus would need to get off the highway if they were headed home instead of dropping me at my apartment.
