I sink against the door and wait for my mom to arrive. While it shreds my heart to hear her on the other side crying, I don’t turn and go in. I wait.
Five minutes later, my mom comes off of the elevator, takes one look at me, and asks, “What happened?”
I shake my head.
“Just make sure she’s okay. She shouldn’t be alone.” I hand her the key from my pocket.
Mom gently twists the doorknob, letting herself in.
At this point, I should walk away, leave my mom with Alyssia because I know she’ll take care of her right now, but I can’t. Instead, I remain with my back pressed against the door.
CHAPTER 45
Alyssia
“What time is your appointment?” Kandace asks from my bedroom doorway.
Two days after my blow up with Travis, Kandace showed up on my doorstep. He’d made all of the arrangements for her to be here with me, according to my best friend.
She’s been here for almost weeks now and I don’t want to think about her leaving. Not when my heart is still aching because it hurts to think about Travis too much.
He was on his summer break from racing, but aside from a few visits to ask how I’m feeling and some phone calls, we haven’t engaged much. It hurts too much to look at him.
Hurt and anger mix every time I look and think of him.
“Thirty minutes,” I mumble.
“We’ll walk over, right? It’s not too much for you?” she asks, making her way to the bed.
“Walking is good for me,” I say.
Kandace wraps her arm around my shoulder. “We’ll get through this. His mom is coming, too, right?”
This is my second to last appointment before I officially hit my fortieth week. As of now, the progression of my pregnancyand growth of the baby has all been flawless, and the plan is to allow my labor to happen naturally.
Mrs. Townsend is in town and comes over almost every day. I’m grateful both she and Kandace will be with me at today’s appointment.
Travis is out of town in the Netherlands for another Grand Prix.
So far, he’s respected my need for distance and moved back into his apartment downstairs.
“Yes,” I answer, laying my head on her shoulder for a moment. “This is one of my final appointments before the baby comes.” I wrap my arms around my belly.
“I don’t know what to do,” I almost whisper. My heart feels as if it’s shredding into pieces.
“Alyssia, you have to talk to him.”
“We talk all of the time,” I say. “About what time my doctor’s appointments are. He texted the other day about two pieces of furniture that were being delivered for the baby’s nursery. All types of stuff we talk about,” I add, lamely.
Kandace sighs. “That’s not talking and you know it. Have you talked to anyone about what you’re feeling? Because it certainly hasn’t been me. Or have you chosen to resort to withdrawing in on yourself and dealing with everything on your own again?”
I sigh.
“Have you ever told him that you’re in love with him?”
“He knows,” I say.
“But have youtoldhim?”
