She nods. “It made me rethink graduate school.”
The grad school brochures she had in New York come back to mind. When we talked about it before, she acted as if thinking going back to school was completely out of the question now that she’s going to be a mom.
My heart sinks at that thought. I get to have the career of my dreams, so should see.
“I want to get my Ph.D. in psychology and to help kids like Alain. I haven’t thought through all of the details, but meeting him reminded me of how lost I felt after the accident.
“Not only did I struggle with my own injuries and fear and loss of my sense of safety, but obviously the loss of my parents. My grandmother and uncles did their best to help but I completely shut them out.”
She turns to me, eyes sparkling.
“It’s taken me years to unravel the feelings and grief, and I’m still working through it, to be honest.” Her hand moves toher belly. “But the past few months have given me a little more clarity.”
I watch her as she looks back at the vastness of the ocean, the green cliffs in the distance, sun preparing to tuck behind them for the night. But I can stop watching her.
I trace over her features with my gaze, committing this picture to memory.
“I haven’t fleshed out all of the details yet,” she continues, “but I’d like it to be a tribute to my parents.” She turns to me. “My mom was preparing to go back to get her Ph.D. in education before she died.” Alyssia’s voice wobbles a little, but she quickly covers it up.
“And my dad,” her smile grows, “he loved nature, the outdoors, and science. I want to incorporate that into my practice somehow, too. Maybe some sort of grief summer camp. My dad taught me to swim.”
“Really?”
“Mom used to joke that he was part fish. She made him wait as long as possible, but by the time I was two he insisted that I start learning to swim. He would take me to the pool every week, even during the winters.”
Alyssia looks over at me.
“She could swim but didn’t love it as much as he did. By the time I was six, she would come to the pool to cheer us on from the stands, but it was dad and me in the pool for hours at a time.”
She shakes her head as if pulling herself out of the memories.
“Our baby has to learn to swim earlier than two since we live so close to the water and there’s a pool in the apartment building.”
I nod, adamantly. “I already have a couple of instructors on speed dial.”
She laughs. “Of course you do.”
“One of my claims to fame in my elementary and middle school was that my teachers used to write ‘always prepared’ on my progress reports and report cards.”
Alyssia’s eyebrows raise.
“What happened in high school?”
I smirk. “Girls.”
She throws her head back and laughs. “No wonder you don’t want our daughter to date.”
“Or leave the house. At all. For anything.”
“How about we don’t go there right now,” she retorts. “I’d hate to have to remind you that our daughter, if this baby is a girl, will likely have a mind of her own and give you a run for all of the money in your bank account if you tried to keep her locked away from the world.”
My frown is instant.
“I bet her mama would help her, too?”
“Damn straight I would.”
I shake my head. “Now I see what my father had to deal with between Mom and my two sisters.”
