Travis has been here for a while, going over strategy with his team.
“Mom.” Annalise waves the three of us over as we enter the Amato racing garage. She came in with Travis. Tristan and Chloe are here also, though both are parked in the couch, laptops in their lap.
A part of me grows envious at how normal all of this is for them. I’m the only one who’s experiencing all of this for the first time, and it unsettles me.
Mainly because I’m probably the only one who doesn’t fully want to be here.
That’s not entirely true. Travis asked me to be here. The imploring look in his eyes when he asked paralyzed my tongue against refusing. I want to be here for him.
That is what I focus on instead of the rumbling, unease in my stomach.
Annalise kisses her parents in greeting before her eyes meet me.
“You came,” she says, turning to me, eyes bright.
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” I say, hoping it doesn’t sound like a lie.
“We’re all glad you’re here.” Her words sound genuine, which makes me grateful that I was able to push past my hesitation.
A beat later she’s off to take care of something that someone from the team asks of her.
“Hey.” Travis’ smooth voice comes up from behind me like a welcomed gust of wind on a summer day. I turn into the hold he already has around my waist. “You came.”
There’s a hint of surprise in his tone. Surprise and relief.
Guilt springs up in the place anxiousness has reigned since I woke up and remembered what day it is.
I brush my lips against his. “Of course I came.”
After I say this, I have to bite my tongue to keep from mentioning the dark clouds I saw as we entered the paddock.
“I’m glad.” He returns the kiss.
Looking into Travis’ eyes, I can tell it means a lot to him to have everyone here. My heart sighs.
I love this man.
There really could’ve been a better time for me to have this realization, but of course it’s now. Moments before he’s about to slide into a car and drive hundreds of miles an hour around winding roads.
My literal nightmare.
I push my selfish thoughts out of my brain and cup Travis’ face.
“Have a great race.” Even as my heart thumps against my ribs, I maintain eye contact.
He turns his head, kissing the inside of my palm. “I will now.” He reaches out and rubs my belly as if I’m a genie.
“For good luck.” He winks.
Seconds tick by until an eerie silence falls over the garage. This is the start of the race.
It’s as if a collective exhale takes place once the lights go out and the drivers are off. The garage gets really loud then, and I take to the stairs to go up to the second floor of the paddock.
A few people linger up here, talking, barely paying attention to the screens that sit on the side desk that’s attached to the wall.
Though my nerves are out of whack and fear keeps telling me to look away, I don’t.
At first, I can only maintain eye contact with one of the screens for a few seconds. My body tenses at each curve the cars take.
