His embrace tightened, and he cradled her against him. “Kit, I’m not sure that’s the best idea, but if that’s what you want...”
She could not quite make herself say it to his face, theraw truth that left her vulnerable. “That’s what I want,” she murmured to his shirtfront. “You, me, and Tot.” They’d survive together, or they’d die together.
His ribs expanded in a massive inhale, and then his body relaxed. He put his mouth close to her ear. “I didn’t really want to leave you two. The only reason I’d ever do it is if I thought it would save your lives. You know that, right, Kit?”
She stayed quiet.
He kissed the crown of her head. “Together. I got it.”
She clung to him, realizing how much they now needed each other. Thrilling and terrifying at once.
Stop this foolishness,Kit. This emotionisn’t real.She pushed away and shoved her hair back behind her ears. “All right, then. When do we leave?”
A flicker of disappointment crimped his brow, or maybe she was imagining it. He’d wanted something from her, an indication that he was more to her than a fellow survivor. “Wait until morning or go now?”
He considered. “No one’s going to get a wink of sleep in that ATV tonight ’cept maybe Tot, so we might as well shove off. I can make a carrier out of her blanket and ferry her down on my back. We’ll have to put all the supplies we can carry in the duffel and our two packs, prioritize water, food, my external phone battery, Tot’s stuff.”
They walked back to the ATV. All was still and quiet, save for the sporadic movement of the debris. Every few minutes there was a crack from a trunk snapping under the massive weight of the flow. The noise sounded like the breaking of bones. Cullen set to work on fashioning a sling, and she perused their supplies.
The redistribution of the goods soothed her nerves,though there was so much they’d have to leave behind. With concentrated effort, she managed to include all of the food and water and some of the extraneous supplies, but there was simply no room for extra clothing to supplement the meagre bundle she’d already squirreled away. To be on the safe side, she stowed the proof against Nico in a second plastic bag fastened around the first and slid it into the waterproof pocket of her backpack. The packs were heavy, too heavy, thanks mostly to the bottles and pouches of water, but there was no guarantee when they’d be able to resupply. Tot’s duffel was filled to the brim as well, and she couldn’t think of anything else to eliminate. What would happen when the clean bottles ran out? The formula? The water with which to mix it? Her fingers grazed the stuffed bear.
She pulled him to her chest, suddenly fighting tears as she fingered his torn ear.It’s just cloth and stuffing.It doesn’t even smell like Dad anymore.She rubbed her cheek against the toy.
There was only space for the absolute essentials. She laid him in the ATV, blinking hard against her foolish tears. She felt movement behind her.
Cullen reached in and plucked the bear out and handed him back to her.
“We’re taking the bear.”
“No space,” she squeaked. No room for silly sentimentality. The toy was useless, and they had not a square inch to spare.
When she didn’t move, he edged her out of the way, unzipped the duffel, shoved the neatly packed contents over, and crammed in the bear. He had to hold the sides of the bag together in order to zip it closed. “See? Fits fine.”
Tot chattered from the front seat. “Uncle Cullen’s coming, Tottie girl.” He hastened off.
The tears did slide down her cheeks then, while he was busy fiddling with Tot. He’d packed her bear. If she was going to love any man on this planet, she was certain it would be Cullen Landry. But that thought, and the pinballs of emotion whizzing around her insides, would have to wait, maybe forever. She went to Cullen’s side.
“Project strap-on-the-baby begins now,” he said, holding out a blanket that he managed to tie around his waist. “Hold her up to my back while I hitch the corners around my shoulders. I’ll need both hands to climb down. It’s about thirty feet to the bottom.”
She used the blankets and some zip ties to tether Tot to Cullen in a sort of reverse kangaroo pouch before she wrestled the baby inside. He did a few knee bends. “Feels secure.”
“It better be.”
Tot screamed, not comforted by the offered pacifier.
“I’m going to lose a whole range of hearing,” Cullen said, wincing as Tot wailed on. A graham cracker offering didn’t work either, so Kit brought out the big guns.
“Tot.” She waved a wafer cookie in front of her button nose. Tot’s hand shot out and grabbed it. The screaming turned to satisfied sucking.
Kit laughed. “You’re going to be covered in cookie mush very soon, but at least she’s not hollering in your ear.”
“An acceptable trade-off,” he said. “How about we dally for another few minutes to warm the bottle by the fire before we go? I can stick it in my pocket to at least maintain a bit of heat if she’s not ready for a while.” He tuggedher foot, chubby from the two pairs of socks Kit had put on her. “Princess Tot, will you take to that better? Warm milk to go with your cookie?” he asked over his shoulder.
Tot let out a gurgle of pleasure, grinding her tiny teeth into the gummed cookie. She should probably be wearing a mask instead of snacking, but Kit didn’t see how she would be calm enough to leave it on. They had to keep her as still as possible while he climbed down.
He gave Kit a thumbs-up. “While you were changing her, I fixed up two meals we can carry with us, warmed them on the campfire. They won’t stay hot, but maybe the noodles will actually cook this time. I guess it’ll be our breakfast later since...” He trailed off.
Since they might not be able to cook any more food in the foreseeable future. Since it was possible they were about to climb down to their deaths.
