‘By the way,’ he said. ‘I was wondering about Rosie. How is she?’
‘I don’t know,’ I admitted. ‘She keeps saying she’s okay and for me not to worry. I don’t know what to think.’
‘She’s obviously under a huge amount of stress. Have you talked to your… your husband about it?’
‘Well, he’svery busy. Very busy. He’s very rarely around and…’ I looked at Red. I wanted to tell him everything about Michael. But it was all so pointless. Red wasn’t just some friend I could confide in. ‘Michael is… well, he’s determined that Rosie will do Law in Trinity, like he did… but I am starting to wonder if it’s what she wants. Or is she just doing it for him. And for my mother-in-law.’
‘Well…’There was nothing he could say. He couldn’t pass judgment on any of us. He’d only briefly met Michael, but Celia not at all. ‘I hope,’ he said, ‘she’s feeling better, soon.’ He went to go. Oh, but I wanted him to stay. There was so much I wanted to chat about, innocuous things like cockney accents but seismic life-altering events as well. Everything.
‘Listen,’ he said, pausing, gratifyingly,at the door. ‘I know it’s none of my business, I know that. I’m just a supply teacher who is pushing my nose into places where I shouldn’t and I have no right. None whatsoever. So please tell me to butt out or whatever. But…’ He stopped, and looked at me, right into my eyes. ‘I was just wondering ifyouwere all right. I’m worried about you.’
‘Worried. About me?’ I said, swallowing. ‘I’m allright. What makes you think I’m not?’
‘Listen, forgive me if I’m overstepping the mark. You look so different, Tab. I mean, youlookthe same, as though not a day has passed, but I can see it in your eyes, how much you’ve got on your plate. There’s a lot going on. And you keep on going…’
For a moment, I thought I was going to cry. When was the last time anyone cared how I was doing? ‘I’m fine,’I said, sounding just like Rosie. ‘I’m absolutely fine.’
He took a pen out of the inside pocket of his jacket. And ripped a corner from a little black Moleskine diary. ‘Here’s my number,’ he said, writing it down. ‘Call me if you need a friend.’ He handed it to me. ‘I’m still that, you know.’
‘Thanks.’ I didn’t trust myself to say anymore.
‘She’s the image of you,’ he said. ‘Rosie.’
‘Really…’I suddenly felt embarrassed. ‘I can see Rosaleen in her but I thought she waslikeher dad, but maybe… maybe she isn’t as much as I thought.’
‘There’s a definite look of you in her, it’s like going back in time,’ he said. impassively, betraying no emotion.
And then he smiled, the kind of smile that makes you feel as though someone is on your side. Encouraging you, cheering you on. And therehe was being nice to me, when I hadn’t been nice to him.
