Chapter Fourteen
‘This year, weather girl. Next year president of the world.’ Clodagh slapped down some magazines. ‘She’s taking over the planet. She’s on the cover of four of these.’
‘She gets away with leather trousers,’ I said. For the cover of theIrish Woman, Bridget was in an Aran jumper, her hands around a hot chocolate. Strapline: ‘Getting Cosy with TV’s latest superstar’.
‘TV’s latestmonster more like,’ said Clodagh. ‘Listen to this.“Always take off your make-up. I never go to bed without making sure I’m cleansed and toned,” said the red-haired beauty. “I drink three litres of water a day and it’s muesli for breakfast. No Full Irishes for me!” the weather-girl laughed.”’ Clodagh sighed and rolled her eyes. ‘She sounds so bloodynice, doesn’t she? Little do they know… Shetold me I was gettingold.But in aniceway. Well-meaning.’ Clodagh pulled a face.
‘But you’re not. You’re forty-two.’
‘Yes, in a rational, normal world, I am the proverbial spring chicken. But I was chatting to Jackie, the make-up artist, and we were talking about Botox, does it work, where the best place to go is.’ She held up her hand. ‘Before you say anything, I’m not doing it. We werejust talking. Starving myself is one thing, being injected with an unknown substance is a step too far in the pursuit of youthful loveliness. Anyway, we didn’t realise that Bridget, who I thought was on her phone, Snapchatting or whatever. Tindering probably. She’s single and on the look-out, apparently. So Jackie is pretty militant about Botox, she says your choice is to have it or never go outside,stay in permanently darkened rooms.’
‘You forgot ageing gracefully.’
‘There’s that. Or there’s ageing disgracefully. Anyway, so we are chatting away and guess who pipes up? Got it in one. So Bridget says,“The problem is, Clodagh, you got old. It happens to everyone. You’ve had your moment in the sun.”And then Jackie says it’s the sun that’s the problem and everything got a bit confused, butwhen I asked Bridget if she had meant to be so rude, she said she wasn’t being and that she was so sorry if she hurt my feelings, but had I ever thought about buying a cat because they are great company when you are old.’
‘She’s just got a weird sense of humour.’
‘Jackie and I were just looking at each other, shaking our heads, and all I could think about was that Ihadbeen thinking about gettinga cat. I never liked them, but suddenly they seem like the perfect addition to my life. I mean, I used to like to buy new things. But now all I’m fantasising about is having a little cat to welcome me home at night. But obviously I didn’t tellherthat.’ She sighed. ‘And Max has given her an extra minute. Lucinda isfurious.’
‘Surely there’s not enough actual weather?’ Ireland was decidedly unexcitingin its meteorological conditions. The whole country would become hysterical with excitement if it snowed for more than half an hour or if the sun came out and it was properly hot in the summer so that people left work early to clear the supermarket shelves of charcoal and sausages. Mainly, things were pretty boring weather-wise.
‘She’s so popular with the viewers, apparently, that they want lessnews and more weather. Well, more Bridget, really.Shetold me today, while I was still reeling from the getting old and cat comment and self-soothing with an apricot yogurt. Said she wondered why Max hadn’t told me and thought I would have known. And then she said she hoped I wouldn’t be too upset by it and she has admired me since she was tiny. When she was leaping around the living room learningher Irish dancing steps, I’d be on in the corner. I am the reason she got into broadcasting.’ Clodagh let out a snort. ‘Broadcasting! Ha! I wouldn’t be surprised if she starts Irish dancing tomorrow. Riverdances onto the set, playing the tin whistle. And I’ve just got to roll with it.’
‘What does Max say?’
‘He won’t talk about it with me. He says that his conversations with the talent…’
‘Thetalent?’
‘Those of us on air… he says they’re private. Between him and their agents. In Bridget’s case, her terrifying mother.’
‘But Max must be on your side… surely he must be aware of how precarious you feel…’
‘He is all about figures and ratings and approval panels and focus groups. He doesn’t do emotions or feelings. He’s all about the job. Which is why, supposedly, he’s such a brilliantmanager. And so terrible at showing empathy.’
I shook my head. ‘What are you doing with all these lunatics, Clodagh? Why don’t you give it all up, do a nice knitting course, get into basket weaving?’ I didn’t understand why she put up with this crazy world and with Max. But then, she didn’t understand why I put up with Michael.
‘You’ll meet the lunatics at my party,’ she said. ‘Now…’ she paused.‘I hope you don’t mind, but Red’s coming. I met him the other day and mentioned it. How are you too getting along?’
‘Fine. It’s weird but it’s almost as though it would be so easy to slip back into something. Every time we talk, we find ourselves talking so normally, as though nothing ever happened, but then we both pull back as soon as we remember.’
Clodagh contemplated me for a moment.
‘Youstill love him,’ she said.
‘Leave it Clodagh,’ I said. ‘Please. It’s complicated, I won’t deny that but…’ She was right, though. I still loved him and there was nothing I could do.
‘Mid-life crisis,’ Clodagh deduced. ‘Not to worry, I’m having one too.’
‘Are women allowed to have them? I thought they were strictly the preserve of men.’
‘What are we allowed to have then?’ she said,
‘Funny turns,hot flushes, menopausal meltdowns, mental breakdowns…’
‘Well, whatever I’m having, it feels like I need to do something different.’ She looked at me. ‘We could get a flat together, like the old days. You move out. Rosie will be in college soon and we could hang out in our pyjamas, eat toast… just like we used to. Come on, what’s stopping you? Think about it,’ she persisted, ‘you would never haveto see Celia ever again.’
‘Now I’m tempted. A life without my mother-in-law is something I would seriously contemplate.’ I laughed. ‘But really, there’s nothing wrong. Michael and I rub along…’
