Chapter Nine
Back in my office, I thought I would just lay my head on my desk and stay there, motionless. Maybe forever. What with Rosie,andRed’s return, the protest was a confusion too far.
A knock on my door. ‘Still here?’ It was Red.
I’d spent eighteen years wondering about him and now he was here, I wished he would go back to California again. We could neither be colleagues or friends,however much we tried to pretend otherwise. It was just too awkward, the weight of our history clouding everything.
‘Red…’ I forced a smile. ‘How’s it going?’
‘Well, despite the fact that I don’t have a beard,’ he said, ‘it’s been surprisingly good.’
‘There’s still time.’ I smiled weakly. ‘Between now and the end of term to grow one.’
‘I could,’ he said. ‘I still have every chance of lookinglike a proper teacher.’ He smiled. ‘Listen, I wanted to ask about setting up a drama club with the girls. It could be a lunchtime thing, if we can get access to the hall. I asked them today if they were interested and they were all excited by the idea. It’s something I always did in the States: a lunchtime drama group, and I thought that we could get something together here. It’s what they needat this age. Something non-competitive, that’s not based on academic work. And they get to play. Something girls forget to do after a certain age. Or rather they are not encouraged to do.’
Red had always been enthused about teaching, ever since we first trained together. He loved working with young people and it was heartening to see that he hadn’t lost his spark. ‘That sounds like a great idea,’I said, smiling. ‘We just have to get permission from parents and work out the logistics. Will you talk to Mary about it in the morning?’
‘Okay… thanks Tab.’ I waited for him to go, but instead he lingered, as though there was something else.
‘Tab, I was wondering…I hope you don’t mind me asking but I’ve just seen your mother… protesting. What’s going on?’
‘Oh that?’ I said airily. ‘Nothingreally.’
‘But it is your mother…?’ Any other brand-new teacher wouldn’t be quizzing me, I thought, feeling irritated at this liberty Red was taking. But then, why shouldn’t he take it? He wasn’t just a brand-new teacher. He was Red.
’Yes it’s her all right.’ I sighed. ‘It’s about a plan to sell a very small slice of land, nothing that anyone should get energised about, but they are merely exercisingtheir democratic right to protest.’ It wasn’t just Michael who had the monopoly on pomposity, I thought, as I spouted forth. But I didn’t want Red to see that I wasn’t in perfect control of my life. He had to see I had made a real success of everything.
‘Why sell the land?’
‘It’s a way of bringing a much-needed cash injection into the school,’ I went on, loftily. ‘It’s actually a very good plan.We are really short of money to do things in the school such as fix a roof, buy some chairs… a few iPads…’
‘Really?’
‘Look, nothing has been decided. I said I would give this my full consideration. And I will. It has to go in front of the board first and then I get the final say.’
‘But you’re not going to do it, are you?’ he said. ‘You can’t sell the land… not for a few bits of plastic…’
‘Red, we need money. The school exists on handouts from our parents. Every week we have some kind of money-making ploy, whether it’s dress-up day, or a book sale. We are scrabbling for money all the time. We can’t afford to resurface the playground or replace any broken desks or… invest in technology.’
‘Right… Tabitha, I know it’s not my place…’
I let that one hang there, hoping my silence wouldbe enough of an answer.
‘But,’ he went on, oblivious to my annoyance, ‘really? Trees for technology. I didn’t thinkyouwould do that.’
‘Well, Red, you don’t know me that well, do you? And you shouldn’t suggest that you do…’
Ignoring my rebuke, he pressed on, ‘and now you’ve got a protest outside. How long are they going to be there for? They look like they are quite happy already. You don’tneed this. And the kids don’t need a protest on their doorstep. It’s not good for anyone. Come on, we’ll find another way of raising the money. A sponsored football match. Anything.’
‘It’s fine,’ I said, with a patronising smile. ‘I am totally in control of the situation. And anyway, Red, you’ve just joined the school. It’s hardly your concern.’
‘You’re right. I’m being presumptuous.’
‘And,it’s nothing,’ I said. ‘Just a little protest. My mother loves a protest, as you might remember. I think she was getting bored because she hadn’t had a good fight on her hands since last year’s save the lesser spotted earwig campaign. She’s been banned from her local health food shop because she complained so often about them using Israeli chickpeas in their hummus…’
‘But…’
‘This is what she’slike Red,’ I reminded him. ‘She likes a cause. Gives her a purpose in life.’ I could feel my face going red with frustration and embarrassment. After all these years, Red had come back and instead of me showing him how together my life was, what a success I had made of things, the cracks, the reality, was already appearing.
