“Let me see your hands,” I said, and Ash offered them to me. They’d been full of splinters when he got back to the rig, and Beck had carefully removed each one. But it had been dark, and the situation was chaotic. It was possible that Beck had missed something, and I wanted to be sure.
Ash’s hands were bruised and nicked in certain places, but somehow they still seemed gentle. I leaned in closely, peering at every inch of his skin to see if I could find any more splinters. I could feel Ash watching me, and the sensation of that gave me goosebumps. The air felt thick and heavy, and the butterflies in my stomach were making me want to shiver.
“Beck did a seriously good job with these,” I commented after a while of finding nothing at all.
“Mmhmm,” Ash agreed. “That’s why he’s the medic. Bit of a perfectionist in that regard, surprisingly. You’d think the class clown would be less serious about his job, but not Beck.”
I’d noticed that during the fire. The focus on Beck’s face. It was almost as if he’d built an entirely different personality in that situation. He’d been confident, serious, and powerful. I would’ve trusted him with absolutely anything.
I got a sudden urge, and lifted Ash’s hands to give each one of them a small, gentle kiss. Ash’s expression seemed amused at that, but he didn’t say anything.
“I am glad that Sammy is okay,” I said, continuing to check further up Ash’s arms. “I’m sure Robert’s relieved, too. And the rest of the family.”
“Yeah,” Ash agreed. “Robert was crying when I gave her back. I know a lot of people would think she’s just an animal, but she isn’t to him. To him, she’s like a child. That’s what he said to me before I went back. That he couldn’t lose her. He begged me to bring her back to him.”
I hadn’t even thought about what Robert had said before Ash ran back into the house. My mind was consumed with worry about Ash himself; I hadn’t really considered that Robert was feeling the same way about Sammy. It made sense. The family had already lost their entire home, and so many of their possessions. Maybe it would have simply been too much to lose Sammy, too.
“Wow,” I breathed, sitting back for a second. “Have you done that before? For other people?”
“We all have, even if Calder and Beck might deny their own recklessness,” Ash answered seriously. “But we’d all do it again, and we will. It’s who we are.”
“That’s what terrifies me,” I admitted, leaning forward to trace a long bruise on Ash’s chest. “One day, you might not come back. Any one of you could…”
“Yeah,” Ash answered, taking the hand that had been on his chest and squeezing it firmly. “It is scary, I know that. If you can’t handle it, and you need to leave us, then we won’t blame you. We get it. We can’t force you to deal with this day in and day out.”
Even though I was afraid, I hadn’t once thought of breaking up with any of them due to that fear. It wasn’t something I could imagine myself doing.
“No,” I insisted, squeezing Ash’s hand back. “I care about all of you too much to do that. I don’t know how I’m going to deal with the uncertainty, but I’ll figure it out.”
“Look,” Ash took my other hand too, and caught my gaze in his. “I’m a pretty tough guy, okay? I can take care of myself. Don’t worry too much.”
I laughed, fighting against the tears that were still trying to surface. “I know.”
There was a knock at the door, and I got up to open it. Calder and Beck stood on the other side, Calder frowning and Beck offering me an awkward smile.
“How’s the invalid?” Beck asked jokingly, though I could hear the concern beneath his tone. “Is he going to make it through the night?”
“It’s not funny, Beck,” Calder growled as they walked in with me to the living room, where Ash sat on the couch. “You could’ve gotten seriously hurt tonight, Ash. You were reckless.”
I expected Ash to disagree, to say something defiant. But he didn’t. “I know. Thank you for coming back for me. Not sure I’d be here if you weren’t there.”
“You’re my brother,” Calder answered. “I’ll always go back for you.”
Those words made goosebumps rise on my arms. I could tell that Calder was saying them with his entire heart and soul. It was a bond that I couldn’t completely understand, but it calmed my fears. All three of them would do everything in their power to keep each other safe, no matter what.
It made my heart skip a beat, and I had to sit down next to Ash with how weak my legs felt. Calder sat on the opposite couch, while Beck went to perch on the coffee table.
“The family asked if you’re alright,” Beck pointed out. “Told them you’re fine. They’re alright, too, physically. Robert said to say thank you.”
“Just doing my job,” Ash shrugged as if he were trying to be nonchalant. I felt as if he was trying to hide his emotions behind a mask of bravado, but neither I nor the others would try to push him. “I know I’ll be in trouble, but I don’t regret it.”
Calder’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t say anything. Instead, we sat quietly for a while, before Beck looked at me.
“Are you okay?” His question hit me harder than I thought it would, and I couldn’t hold back my tears anymore. They began running down my cheeks, and I found myself sobbing.
Ash put his arm around me, while Beck took one hand. Calder got up from the couch to sit on the floor in front of me and take the other. I let them hold me as I shook, feeling embarrassed that I was taking all of their attention when Ash was the one we should have been focused on.
“We should get her some tea,” Calder said, and Beck let go of my hand and hopped to his feet.
