“The Coalition is involved here. Involved in treason. I can’t leave before I have evidence.”
“Evidence?” he said, voice cracking on the word. “Calya, there’s a fucked-up wellspring having a meltdown, and all you can think of is your fucking career?”
“This is more than that,” she snapped back. “You’re not from Graelynd, you wouldn’t understand. But I have a chance, here. It’s the Coalition! Do you have any idea what it would mean— I can take them down, but only if I can tie them to everything?—”
“I know plenty about them.” Nocren’s hands balled into fists. But he made himself loosen his fingers, though they shook with the effort. “I’ll be your witness, okay? Let’s go.”
“Your word won’t mean anything. You’re a Senti— Listen, their ties run deep. But if I can preserve some?—”
“I saw what happens here if we stay, Calya.” Nocren slashed a hand through the air, leaving a faint trail of sparks. “Avenor. He gets away. You… he… If we don’t destroy this place, it?—”
“Brint?” She sounded more confused than doubtful. But she shook her head, dispelling the flicker of hesitation. “You said they’re only possibilities,” she said quietly. Calmly. Without a hint that she’d given what he said the fucking care it deserved.
“No. No, are you listening? The wind’s been trying to warn me about this. About you, me, Avenor. About that!” He pointed at the fake wellspring. “I don’t know how to make you understand, but Calya, please, trust me. You have to come with me right now. I asked the wind, Calya, so would you?—”
“I didn’t ask you to do it, Lowe. Not this time. You didn’t have to use the wind that way.” Her arms were folded across her chest, her gaze flinty. “And I don’t have to do anything. I’m staying, and I’m going to prove they’re behind this. Alone, if I must.”
“Listen to yourself. You’re one woman, Calya! You don’t have magic. I know the Coalition better than you think, and I know that they’ll just sabotage whatever you find. Your evidence won’t mean shit. It’ll be compromised, or they’ll have bought experts to discredit it. You can’t win.”
She stared at him. A shadow crossed her face. Disappointment. Maybe even true hurt. But soon, a cold mask settled into place. Disdain colored her voice when she murmured, “So much for believing I’d conquer the world.”
“Calya…”
She turned around and walked back into the observation room, slamming the door behind her. Nocren reached it just as he heard the heavy scrape of metal and the clang of a bar settling into place. He tried the door anyway, and was unsurprised when it didn’t budge. He went back to the ramp to find Calya at the window, her face impassive.
“Calya, don’t do this. Please, come with me.”
“Go. You’re wasting precious time, according to the wind.”
He climbed over the ramp, wedging himself onto the narrow strip of rock in front of the window. “Calya, it isn’t safe. Avenor catches you, do you understand?” He pressed his palm to the window. “He’s going to fucking get you, and I can’t?—”
“This is why we didn’t form attachments, ranger.” Her lips formed a sad smile. “So we wouldn’t care.”
“You care, I know you do,” he pleaded. “You care about me. We… We were?—”
“We?” Her eyes closed for a moment. When she finally looked at him again, there was pain in their depths, but her tone was coarse. “There is no we. Did you think I let you in?”
“You and I”—Nocren’s fingers bit into the glass—“we’ve only just begun. You have a heart, Calya, and it’s mine, and mine is yours. Open the door. I’ll stand with you against the Coalition if that’s what you want, just?—”
“My lack of a heart was never from loss,” she said quietly. “You think we’ve become something? That you matter? Your words cannot change me into what you’ve wished me to be.”
“Calya,” Nocren rasped, desperation becoming fear becoming a wild blend of anger. “Don’t be so fucking reckless. He’ll catch you and then?—”
“You almost had me figured out right from the start, you know. The parts that mattered. Ambitious. Do not trust.” She placed her hand against his, the glass warming between them. “But reckless? No. I’ve done the calculations, ranger. It’s not recklessness, it’s personal risk, and I’m not afraid of it. I’ll take my chances against Brint.”
“I won’t,” he whispered. “Calya, please.”
Her fingers bent in the tiniest of waves. “We both said no sentimentality. I, at least, meant it. I’ll never love you back. Do you get that? We had a nice fuck, but the heart is never first.”
With that, Calya walked away, vanishing through a door in the back of the room. Nocren pounded his fists against the window. Kept going, yelling for her, until the enchantment in the glass came to life. A loud hiss sounded, and sparks crackled along the surface, burning his skin and forcing him to stumble back over the railing.
Nocren fell to his knees on the ramp.
Calya never returned.
Chapter Twenty
Her back pressed against the wall, Calya closed her eyes. Against the sound of Lowe calling after her. The pounding of his fists against the window. Each landed like a blade through her heart, or whatever tenderness she’d allowed to grow in its place.
