“And hockey players,” Mira teases.
I can’t help it. I scoff at that. “I’m not sure I’ll learn anything about hockey players from romance books. Men written by women are always so much better than actual, real-life men.”
“Usually,” Lexi agrees. She’s told me about how she and Ryder met, and if anyone is going to prefer fictional men to the real ones, it would be her. Her dad is the former head coach of the Rogues, and he sounds like a total asshole and a real piece of work. Add to that a long-term boyfriend who apparently used her as aninwith the NHL and her dad, and Lexi has every reason to have distanced herself from men.
Noah’s betrayal is nothing compared to what she went through. Well, if you can even call it a betrayal. It felt like one at the time, but looking back, I can acknowledge that he wasn’t ready to step up for me, let alone Reed, and I don’t blame him. Doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt, but I’m not angry at him anymore.
“But you have to admit, there are some damn good guys on the Rogues that could rival any romance hero.” Lexi’s expression is soft and wistful. “I found one. So did you two.”
“We did.” Isla grins as she pulls books from the shelf and reads their blurbs. “Bash and Logan are great guys too. Even if one of them has a certain reputation.”
She looks up at me when she says that, and I grab a book so I don’t have to meet her gaze. “I’ve heard nothing but good things about Sebastian. Though it seems to me like he’s hung up on someone.”
Mira barks out a laugh. “Right. She was totally talking about Bash. Though I do think you’re right about him being hung up on someone. But that’s not the point.”
“The point,” Lexi says, “is that Logan acts like he isn’t interested in love, but I think he’s just broken, like I was. Ryder doesn’t have as much of the story as I’m sure the other guys have, but from what I’ve heard, his parents and their shitty relationships really did a number on Logan.”
“He’s said a few things that would make me agree,” I say.
That gets my friends’ attention, and once again, the weight of three gazes bears down on me.
“He told you about them?” Isla asks, shocked and quiet.
“A little?” I shrug, my skin suddenly feeling tight. Why are they looking at me like I’ve grown a second head? “It’s not that big of a deal.”
“I think it is. In all the time I’ve been with Maddox, not only has Logan never opened up to me about his past, but I’ve never, ever heard of him telling any woman anything even remotely personal. Ever.”
“Come on, he can’t be that closed off with women.”
“He really is,” Mira says. “I know you’re new here and aren’t familiar with them or their dynamic, but Logan has a very specific reputation. He keeps things purely physical, and heneverdoes anything that could be misconstrued as an invitation to a real relationship. And I’m not saying that to put you off him or freak you out or anything, just to say that he’s already broken those rules by showing up to Reed’s game.”
My pulse races, and I clutch a random book to my chest to keep my hands from shaking. Because I sort of realized all of this. But hearing my friends say it with so much weight to their words? I don’t really know what to do with any of it.
“The fact that he opened up about his past atallto you is a big deal, Blair. I think… I think he has actual feelings for you.”
“Who knew he had it in him?” Lexi quips.
“I’m not sure evenheknew,” Isla says, her smile soft. They really are like one big family, and I want that. Badly. “The question is, do you have feelings for him?”
I take a moment to answer, because do I? I’ve been having this same conversation with myself ever since that day at the arena when I found Logan hanging out with my brother. Then he showed up at the football game and he started texting me… “I think I do? But my life is complicated. I don’t… I’m not sure someone who’s never been interested in a relationship is going to be up for that, you know? I’m basically a single parent, and Reed will always come first for me. I don’t know many men who’d be cool with that. Especially commitment-phobic playboys.”
“But if hewascool with it?”
“I don’t know. I’m not even sure how to be in a relationship anymore.”
Mira chuckles. “Yeah, well, Logan’sneverbeen in a relationship, so you could figure it out together.”
“We’re not trying to pressure you,” Lexi says, putting a hand on my arm comfortingly. “But from one girl who was dead set against giving a hockey boy a chance to another, maybe see where it goes. Give him a chance to prove he can handle your life, and for you to see if you may even want him in it. What do you have to lose?”
My heart? That last little flame of hope that flickers in my chest that, someday, someone will see me and love me, baggage and all. But I suppose those are things we all stand to lose when we open ourselves up to the possibility of love.
“Maybe you’re right. I’m not totally convinced he’s actually interested in me, but I suppose it couldn’t hurt to give him a chance and see.” My attention returns to the shelf labeledsports.“I guess a hockey romance could be fun for our first book.”
“Hell yeah,” Mira hoots, doing a little dance in place. “I heard about this one with fake dating that sounds fun. And it’s spicy.”
She locates the book she was thinking of on the shelf, and as if it was meant to be, there are exactly four copies left. We each purchase one and pour out of the store in a stream of giggles and conversation that never flags.
“Should we go to my place now?” Mira asks. “I have ice cream and cookies. And I bet I could get Griffin to pick up some pizzas.”
