Clearing the lump from my throat, I manage a brittle smile for the women watching me. There’s a flicker of concern in Isla’s eyes that wasn’t there before, and as nice as it is to be surrounded by people I could see myself being friends with, I’m not ready to go there. It makes me feel pathetic, and I don’t want them to see me that way.
“Yeah, I’m not so sure about that. But I’m also more of a relationship girl, you know? Logan was my first—and probably last—one-night stand.”
Lexi nods, an understanding expression on her face. “Well, Logan is a great choice for a one-night stand. Not so great if you’re looking for a relationship.”
My belly flips at the idea of a relationship with the hockey player. It’ll never happen, and I shouldn’t want it to, because he’s been a colossal ass, but the way he made me feel that night… “Don’t worry, I know Logan’s not a relationship guy. He made that very clear in LA. But I also don’t have time for a relationship. I haven’t ever since I became Reed’s legal guardian.”
“But Reed’s a teenager,” Isla says. “I’m sure if you wanted to date, you could make it work, right? They get more and more self-sufficient around that age.”
“It’s just not in the cards for me,” I tell her. What I don’t say is that I’m so fucking lonely that I dream about having someone to share my life with. The last five years have been a lot, and I’d give anything to have someone I could lean on. But if I’ve learned one lesson since my parents died, it’s that the only person I can really depend on to take care of me and Reed is myself.
I’m not sure I could bounce back from the disappointment of being let down again. Too many people I cared about madepromises to be there for me, only to walk away when everything got difficult.
“Besides, I’m not sure I’m even interested in dating anyone.” I shrug and offer them a smile I hope looks genuine. Because what I just said?
It’s a lie.
fifteen
LOGAN
“You’re late,”I say to Maddox when he finally strolls into Chasers. I push a bottle his way when he sits down. Griffin, Ryder, and Sebastian nod and greet him.
“Sorry, had to play chauffeur for the ladies so they can drink tonight. Didn’t want some random rideshare driver carting my wife around.” Maddox takes a pull of his beer and nods at Griffin and Ryder. “I told the ladies I’d pick them up when they’re done painting.”
Griffin tips his head in acknowledgement from his spot beside me. “Thanks, bro. Mira’s been looking forward to this.”
I don’t want to ask them what the girls are up to tonight, because this is the kind of bullshit conversation I have worked so hard to avoid by staying away from any kind of relationship. But now all these assholes are paired up—outside of me and Bash—and I’m forced to hear way more about their relationships than I want. Still, they’re my closest friends, and if I don’t ask, that makes me a prick, right? “What are they doing tonight?”
“Drinking wine and painting? I don’t really understand it, but the four of them seemed excited.”
Wait. “Four of them?”
Ryder snickers, the little shit. “Yeah, the girls and Blair.”
Blair. Fucking. Hell. Can I never escape her? I try to play it off like I’m not affected by hearing that the woman who walked out on me after a night of epic sex, only to show up at my job less than a week later, is cozying up to my best friends’ women. But when Griffin snorts out a laugh, I know I’ve failed.
“Dude, you look like you’re sucking on a lemon. What’s your problem?”
“Nothing. I just didn’t realize they were hanging out with her.”
Bash studies me, his eyes squinting as though he can see right through me. “And that bothers you?”
Of course, it fucking bothers me. “Nah, man. Why should I care?”
“Probably because you’re borderline obsessed with the woman,” Griffin goads.
Knee bouncing under the booth, I glare at my teammate. “I’m not obsessed with her. I don’t trust her, that’s all. And now she’s trying to wiggle her way into our group by befriending your wives. It’s just shady, don’t you think?”
“From what Isla told me, they had to bug her to agree to hang out with them,” Maddox says. “I don’t think she’s doing any wiggling.”
Griffin chuckles. “Logie’s just pissed she’s not doing any wiggling on his dick, even though he wants her to.”
“Shut the fuck up. I don’t want that woman anywhere near my dick. I don’t trust her.”
“Uh-huh.” Griffin takes a sip of his beer and glances down at my lap. “Is that why you’re sporting a semi, bro?”
Shifting in my seat, I glare at Griffin. “Dude, quit staring at my dick.”
