Whatever I did to fuck up, I’ll fix it.
I need to ask Griffin to go out to lunch soon. He’s shockingly good at relationships for someone who gives off such unserious vibes. If anyone can help me work out where I screwed up and how to fix it, it’ll be him. Or maybe Bash. Hell, maybe I should just call a guys’ night and they can all weigh in.
“So,” I say, desperate to get the conversation away from my dad so Blair can relax. “When does the puppy calendar come out?”
“Puppy calendar?” Reed asks, his lips twitching up at the corners.
“Oh yeah! I need one for Mira’s office. She needs to be able to stare at me holding a puppy when I’m on the road.”
Blair perks up a bit at that, and the first genuine smile I’ve seen tonight illuminates her face. “It’s with the printer now. As far as I know, the social media team is set to announce it any day now.”
“We all look hot, right?” Griffin asks.
“As long as I don’t look stupid, I don’t care if I look hot,” Maddox says.
Blair chuckles. “You all look amazing. There’s nothing cuter than a bunch of massive guys in hockey gear cuddling tiny puppies.”
My mind goes back to that day. I can’t believe it was two months ago, and I had just decided to stop being such a massive ass to Blair.
So much has changed in such a short time.
I’ve changed.
What I want has changed.
I was so worried Blair was going to disrupt my life, I didn’t stop to consider that her brand of disruption was exactly what I needed. Because what I was doing couldn’t really be called living. I was going through the motions. Scratching itches. Butoutside of my efforts on the ice, I wasn’t building anything lasting.
As much as I love it, hockey won’t be a forever thing. If I’m lucky, I may play for another ten years. If I’m unlucky, it could all end tomorrow. And if it did, what would I have? A big, empty bachelor pad, more money than any one person needs, and endless flings with women whose names I won’t remember in a month?
All these years, I’ve been afraid to let myself care about a woman because I refuse to turn into my father. But in the end, am I all that different? He’s well into middle age and he’s alone. Which would be fine, if being alone was a choice he made for his own happiness. But it’s not. Owen Byrne is alone because he’s never once—in all his years—really loved someone. He chooses women who make him look good, who stroke his ego, and who ask for nothing but money in return.
Isn’t that what I’ve been doing? Except I took things a step further and refused to ask anything of any woman, and I sure as hell haven’t let them ask anything of me.
And fuck, it had started to feel lonely.
Hockey is easy. Safe.
Blair? She’s the most dangerous thing in the world.
And yet, the thought of letting her walk away makes me break out in a cold sweat.
Pulling her tighter against my side, I let her anchor me. The buzz of the fans around us doesn’t touch me, nor does the occasional flash of photos being taken. All I see is Blair.
It should scare the hell out of me.
But it doesn’t.
forty-one
BLAIR
I’m staringoff into space at my desk, mind as fuzzy as the hum of the heat blowing through the vents, when my phone buzzes.
Reed
There are more photos of you and Logan on the internet.
Oh, good. Just what I need.
