Hallie:Could we meet up today and talk??
For a few seconds, I just stared at the words on the screen, my heart leaping right to my throat. I felt a heat unfurl in my chest, spreading through me like someone had just flipped on every dark urge I’d been suppressing.
Whatever Hallie wanted, I’d give it to her. If she needed me to pretend our conversation the night before never happened, I’d let her think I could. But if she wanted to be pinned down, restrained, and fucked until she couldn’t take it anymore? I could give her that, too.
I mean, it was the least I could do.
Four
Hallie
Ashford Gardens in OakPark felt like the perfect place to meet Knox that afternoon–it was far enough away from my parents’ neighborhood that it wasn’t likely I’d run into anyone I knew, and close enough to a Metro stop that Knox could meet my brother in time for their wrestling thing downtown.
The park took up a city block tucked between a cluster of apartment buildings, bordered by a wrought-iron fence that ran along the street where I’d parked my car. The July heat kept most people inside that afternoon, though a small yoga class had claimed a patch of grass near the center of the park. Beyond them, I spotted an arching footbridge over a tiny pond, where a couple of teen girls were filming each other.
My hands stayed firm on the steering wheel. Why was I so nervous? Reaching out to Knox and meeting him like this seemed like a good idea when I was sitting on my bed earlier, typing the text before I could talk myself out of it.
But sitting here now, my heart was pounding. I turned my music down hoping that would help methinkand gain a sense of clarity about this situation I’d found myself in with Knox, but it didn’t. If anything, the quiet made it worse.
Maybe this was a mistake.
I could’ve just said:Hey, sorry for bringing up all that weird stuff last night! Lol!And it’d be done. Knox would probably sayno worries,one of his go-to responses that we all teased him about, and we’d just carry on with our lives like nothing had happened.
But no.
I had to punish myself by insisting on seeing him in person. You’d think I had a humiliation kink.
If I was being truly honest with myself, there was a tiny part of me that wanted to see his expression when I said those words now, in the daylight. Would he shrug it off, or would he try to coax more of the truth out of me?
Was that man even aware how capable he was of getting me to do exactly what he wanted?
I’d always had a crush on Knox, even as a little girl. He complimented my Converse when he was sixteen and I was eleven, and that alone convinced me we were soulmates. Of course, the age gap was ridiculous, and he never saw me as anything but Adrian’s goofy little sister.
But now we were both adults, and whatever I’d once dismissed as a childish crush felt a lot more real than I was ready to admit–especially after our interaction the night before.
I tugged on my black denim shorts, noticing a chip in my red nail polish. I couldn’t afford a professional manicure at the moment, so I made a mental note to touch it up later and pretended it didn’t bother me nearly as much as it did.
My phone buzzed, making my stomach flutter when Knox’s name flashed across the screen. I shook my head at myself and picked it up.
Knox:I’m on the opposite side of the park from you. Come to the bench past the bridge.
Well, there was no backing out of this now. I’d already been spotted. As I stepped through the open wrought-iron gates, I squinted toward the trees at the far end of the park, scanning the pockets of shade for any sign of him, but I couldn’t see him anywhere. I held my arms awkwardly at my side as I walked, becoming acutely aware that he was watching me.
I didn’t spot him until I walked over the little bridge. The wooden bench sat just beyond it, tucked beneath a canopy of trees where barely any sunlight broke through. Knox sat with one arm draped along the back of the bench, and he glanced over his shoulder at me like he knew the exact second I’d come into view.
My heart picked up as I slowed, making my way around to the front of the bench. “Hey,” I said casually, like I wasn’t remembering the way his hard body felt pressed up against mine.
As I sat down, Knox looked like he was fighting a grin, perhaps for the very same reason. “Hey,” he said back, and it came out dripping in sarcasm.
God, this was going to be torturous, wasn’t it?
I was so nervous, it took longer than it should have to realize he was holding up a drink for me to take. “Here,” he said, nodding down at the iced coffee in his hands. “It’s an iced vanilla latte with oat milk.”
All I could do was blink, so he lowered my favorite drink to the bench between us in silence, his eyes flitting over to my thighs. My mouth struggled to form words. “Wha–? How’d you know what drink to get?”
Knox interlocked his fingers over one knee. He wore dark jeans and a fitted black t-shirt that clung to his biceps, and his hair looked like it might still be damp from his shower. And he smelled heavenly, a woodsy and clean scent emanating from his body. Was that sandalwood? I could never quite put my finger on it, but I wished I could bottle up Knox’s scent and keep it with me forever.
“Lucky guess,” he answered. I didn't believe him, but then again, a vanilla latte was pretty much a safe bet with a basic girl like me, wasn’t it?
