“You know, I… I probably shouldn’t have brought all of that up,” he murmured, reaching for the bottle cap again. “I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable. I should probably just walk you to the garage and call it a night.”
The sudden shift in his demeanor threw me off. Before I could protest going up to bed, he was already scooting back in his chair. I followed suit, dizzily rising to my feet before gathering up my things. “No, it–it’s fine,” I stuttered out, letting him lead me down the deck steps. “I’m tipsier than I realized.”
He let out a quiet chuckle, walking past the pool with his hands in the pockets of his swim trunks. The detached garage sat at the back of the property, a single yellow bulb glowing over the side door. Its light spilled down over the narrow strip of wildflowers in the landscaping.
I glanced over at Knox as we walked. His usual confidence had faded away, and there was a deep crease between his brows like he was replaying every word of that conversation over and over again in his mind. Like he regretted it.
My heart sank.
“Knox,” I said softly. He quickly glanced over, full of nervous energy. “I just want you to know… you didn’t make me uncomfortable, okay? You just surprised me.”
“Oh.” He looked down at his feet again as we neared the garage. The night breeze rustled through the flowers beside us, and in the distance, a few more fireworks popped and fizzled.
“That just wasn’t a topic I ever imagined I’d be discussing with you.”
He emitted a quiet chuckle. “Yeah, I didn’t exactly think my night would end with me asking you about… non-con role-play.”
My cheeks burned, but I nodded like this was just some ordinary conversation. But on the inside, I was screaming. Most people don’t go around shortening “non-consent” to “non-con.” Not unless it’s something they’ve spent time thinking about. Or reading about.
We stopped in front of the side door of the garage, where just inside, the steps led up to the little apartment. I turned to face him on the walkway, holding my Kindle by my side. The strap of my bikini top slid down one of my shoulders, and Knox glanced away as I adjusted it.
I could’ve dropped the topic entirely, but my drunk, curious brain wouldn’t let me. There was this reckless part of me that wanted to keep this going, and I couldn’t ignore it.
“I’ve actually only ever talked about this once before, and it didn’t go over very well,” I said, closing my eyes for a second as the memoryinfiltrated my mind. I could almost see Brody pacing around the room, suggesting I go talk to his priest.
Yes, his priest.
My ex was convinced I had some kind of buried childhood trauma I needed to confront, but that wasn’t it. It was just some stupid, fucked-up fantasy I couldn’t really explain, and I never should’ve tried. Not with him.
But right now, Knox wasn’t looking at me like I was broken or needed some kind of intervention. Instead, his gaze was steady and unflinching, like this fucked-up kink of mine didn’t even faze him. It felt like he wasn’t just looking at me. He was actuallyseeingme.
“Someone shamed you for it?” he guessed.
“Yeah,” I said, twisting the frayed hem of my jean shorts with my fingers. “It’s a fantasy that most people could never understand, so I’ve just decided to let it go.”
I shrugged one shoulder, running my hand over my pocket to check for my keys. Fuck, where were they? I glanced back up at Knox’s face to tell him I might have left my keys on my parents’ deck, but something about the look on his face made my stomach lurch.
“Ah. What a shame,” he said softly, turning his head slightly away so the words were carried away by the night breeze. I’d almost convinced myself I’d imagined them until I caught the faintest hint of a smirk on his lips as he lifted his gaze back to my face.
He was testing me, wasn’t he?
“It’ll never happen,” I asserted, clutching my Kindle a little tighter to my chest. “The chances of me ever finding someone I trust who shares the same–or, you know, theopposite–twisted fantasy as me? Literally zero. I’ll never make the mistake of bringing it up with another partner ever again. That’s why I stick to reading about it, and that’s good enough for me.”
“Hmm,” he said, running a hand along the edge of his beard, his eyes flicking toward the dark surface of the pool where the water reflected the moonlight in soft ripples. Then, slipping his hands into the pockets of his swim trunks, he shifted his weight closer to me with a movement so subtle I barely registered it until his mouth was inches from my ear. “Literally zero? I wouldn’t bet on those odds.”
Knox pulled back just enough to really look at me, his eyebrows raised as he studied my expression, watching my mouth fall open. My breath hitched as the meaning of his words slammed into me, sending a hot tingle down my spine that landed somewhere between my legs.
No.
Not Knox.
Sweet, lovable Knox.
The man my mom kissed on the cheek and called her “bonus son” last Christmas. The man who took care of my family whenever he could. The gentle giant who treated me like a sister when he didn’t have to. There was no darkness to him. Only goodness.
But… I also knew how strong he was.
How dangerous he could be when he was pushed.
