Alex looked thoughtfully at the camping lantern. “It depends. Spending twenty-eight years building a monument for a woman who left you is a little out there. But who’s to say his love for her didn’t add something to his life even if she couldn’t love him back?”
Alex’s expression had that intensity again, and I thought about what he’d told me about Greyson’s mom. Was that how he felt about her? I knew he didn’t trust her, or anyone for that matter, but did a part of him still love her? Was that what he’d come so near me to say? Perhaps he hadn’t wanted Greyson to hear. Maybe the real reason he’d been single all these years was because he was waiting for Maggie to come back and stay for good.
“Who gives a crap about love?” Greyson said. “Iwant to know more about the aliens. Do you think they were grays or reptilians? My vote is for reptilians. I saw this YouTube video once about how half our politicians are actually lizard people. At first, I didn’t think that made sense, because wouldn’t you see them? But the video says they’re shape-shifters, so I guess it could happen.”
Alex shook his head. “I think we need to reevaluate your internet privileges.”
After that the subject of love was forgotten. Once the conversation moved on from debating whether or not reptilians were real, the girls argued over which list item I should tackle next and settled on number twenty-eight—host a dinner party.
Nina rubbed her hands together. “Now this is going to be good.”
“Not justanydinner party,” Kitty said. “Afancydinner party.”
“Everyone has to wear the fanciest outfit they can find from a thrift store,” Mia added.
“A thrift store?” I said. “I was planning to wear the dress I bought for item ten.”
“No.” Nina sat up with a look of horror on her face. “Absolutely not. You’ve worn it to everything this year.”
“Because it’s a great dress!”
“You need to think about what you’resaying,” Nina insisted.
I shoved a caramel-dipped s’more into my mouth. “I’m saying I’m reliable.”
“Nobody wants to attend a reliable dinner party. They want to go to an exciting one.”
“Fine. Exciting, thrifty, fancy-pants dinner party it is. Does Saturday night work? Or is that too predictable? Maybe we should have it on a Wednesday! Now that’s unexpected.”
Nina rolled her eyes and turned to Alex. “Well, whenever it happens, Captain Lean Cuisine over here is going to need some help.”
Alex looked behind him with awho, me?expression.
Yes, you!I thought.
He rubbed his chin and looked me over. “I don’t know. IguessI could help you find some recipes, but what do I get out of it?”
“My undying gratitude,” I said.
“Nah,” he said. “I want a better nickname on the blog. Hot Yacht Chef will do.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “I’d rather use Pinterest. I bet there are better recipes there anyway.”
Alex laughed, and I thought about the last time we’d worked together in a kitchen. One minute his hand had been on mine, and the next he’d fled as far away from me as possible. Tonight, it had happened again: a moment of closeness, his face so near mine I thought he’d kiss me, and now he was acting like nothing had happened. I couldn’t make sense of him.
I didn’t need Alex to find recipes for a dinner party. What I needed was to get Alex out of my head.
Because I knewexactlywhat this was: a recipe for getting my heart broken.
—
It was past one in the morning when the six of us finally settled into our sleeping bags. The girls had whispered to each other for a long time, while Nina, Alex, and I traded yachtie horror stories. But one by one, the girls fell asleep. Soon, everything was quiet, except for the sounds of the occasional passing car and Nina’s soft snores. All those charter seasons made it possible to sleep anywhere, which was usually true for me as well.
But of course I was having trouble falling asleep tonight. My mind wouldn’t shut up. The pressure ofneedingto fall asleep to check this item off the list was one problem. But it wasn’t the only one. My mind raced, replaying that moment on the limestone beds with Alex, my fight with Nina. I couldn’t stop thinking about how she’d said Alex wasn’t like Peteror how after tonight, there would only be four items left on the list. Two I was terrified of (getting a tattoo and singing onstage), one made me nervous (hosting a dinner party), and one was impossible (visiting five more countries). After what felt like hours, I sat up and grabbed Nina’s fun bag. Maybe I really did need some Dramamine. I undid the zipper as quietly as I could and slipped out the bottle, inspecting it in the light of my phone, groaning when I realized the Dramamine was expired.
“Can’t sleep?”
I looked over Nina and spotted Alex sitting on his sleeping bag.
