Xav looks at me. “Copy,” I say weakly.
“Right,” Xav says. “Now get your asses back to work so we can getunderway. At least you’ll have two extra nights off before the next charter.”
Ollie is up and across the room before I can stop him, not that I’m surewhatI’d say, becausesorrydoesn’t feel like enough. I’ve really fucked up this time. I think of what I said to him last night and want to lock myself in the bilge for the rest of the season.
“Nina,” Xav says.
I blink, finding myself alone in the wheelhouse with Xav. He stands at the helm, watching me. “Yes, Cap?”
“You okay, kiddo?”
I stand and smooth my skirt. “I’m fine,” I say. “Just tired.”
Xav looks like he doesn’t quite believe me. “We’ve worked together a long time, haven’t we?”
“You can say that again. Have you added me to your will yet? That’s the only reason I’m still around.”
Xav laughs and runs a hand over his beard. “I know I’m hard on you, but I think of you as a daughter. You know that, right?”
He’s said it before, but right now, when I feel like my life has become nothing but balancing plates that are destined to break anyway, it hits me harder than it usually does. “I know.”
“All I want is for you to be happy,” he says. “And if that means this gig is no longer for you, I’ll understand.”
Now I know he’s going senile. I shake my head. “Nina Lejeune without yachting? I don’t think so.”
Xav shrugs. “Just something to think about.”
I have no idea where this is coming from. Yachting isn’t the problem. Thisseasonis the problem. My crew is the problem. These guests are the problem. Everyone acting like I’ve got a problem is the problem.
I join Xav by the helm and rest my head on his shoulder, the two of us looking out at the empty sun deck below. There’s nothing before usbut sea and sky. A perfect day. “I’m good, really. And besides, who’ll cover for you when you start losing it and they try to take this thing from you?” I say, giving the helm a pat.
“You won’t need to cover for me. I’ll happily retire.”
I snort. “Yeah, and I’ll happily hand my job over to Britt and let her run interior.”
Xav laughs and gives my shoulder a squeeze. “All right, kiddo. Moment over. Get your ass downstairs before I fire you.”
“You’d never,” I say, taking in the view for one last second before I turn to go.
12
Nine years earlier
A week after the end of my first charter season, I sat beside Ollie in the wheelhouse, sure we were both about to get fired when Captain Xav slid the marriage license application we’d filled out the day before across the table.
“Care to tell me what this is about?” Captain Xav said.
Shit.I took the paper in my hands and tried to keep my cool. “Where did you get that?”
“I found it where one of you dipshits left it in the crew mess.”
I glanced at Ollie, but he only raised his eyebrows. We’d been living on the yacht temporarily until we could move into our new apartment at the end of the month. One of us must have left the application out, and it sure as hell wasn’t me. No one was supposed to know about our plan, which included a simple courthouse wedding. But, as I’d quickly learned that season, secrets didn’t stay secrets for long on board a superyacht.
Everything had gone according to plan so far, and now this.Desperate to think my way out of it, I grabbed Ollie’s hand in mine and tried to give Captain Xav my most earnest expression. “We’re in love,” I said. “Isn’t that right, Oliver?”
“I...” I squeezed Ollie’s hand hard, and he cleared his throat. “That’s right, Cap. We’re in love. We want to get married.”
Captain Xav looked between the two of us before leaning back in his seat with his hands behind his head. “And this doesn’t have anything to do with Ollie’s visa trouble?”
