I chug the rest of my mimosa and shoo her from the kitchen.
“All right, people,” I say. “It’s showtime.”
28
The ceremony takes place on the condo’s private beach. Alex and his family and friends are already up there waiting. As we walk down the breezeway, the atmosphere is joyous and casual. It doesn’t feel like we’re going to a wedding. Jo and I never went to school together, but I feel like a teenager walking down the halls between classes, arm in arm with my best friend.
There’s no procession, but I slip my arm from Jo’s and hand her off to her sister and Mark, her sister’s ex, who’s the closest thing Jo has to a father figure, right as we near the gate that leads to the beach. Ahead is the small flower-adorned arch that marks where the ceremony will take place.
There are fewer than twenty guests, including the bride and groom. As I trudge across the sand with the others, I search for Ollie and find him standing beside Alex. He looks completely unchanged, as lovely as ever in a white button-down and cropped gray pants that fit him so well I might pass out here on the sand. The wind ruffles his hair in the morning light, putting every hue on display—from blond to gold to bronze. He laughs as he talks with Alex, and the sight of it is beautifuland painful all at once. I’m happy that Ollie is happy, but I’m also terrified. What if he’s happier without me? What if this is the last time I’ll ever see him? What if everything I’ve done is for nothing?
No. Not nothing, I remind myself. I’m becoming the person I want to be. It just so happens that becoming the person I want to be means hopefully becoming someone who can truly love Ollie and be loved by him in return. But with or without him, I am moving on. No matter what happens, I’ll be okay.
Alex’s daughter, Greyson, catches sight of me. She elbows Ollie, and when he looks up and spots me, his laughing expression fades. I’m not sure how to interpret the look that takes its place. He gives me a small nod before looking away. I don’t try to figure out what it means as I circle around the wedding arch with the others to watch Jo make her way down the beach with Mark and Beth.
The ceremony is simple, but I cry the entire time. Alex’s parents are folk singers and play a song they wrote especially for the occasion. Xav, the officiant, cracks a few one-liners, but I can tell he’s struggling not to get choked up. It’s no use, though, because Jo and Alex wrote their own vows, and no one can remain dry-eyed through them.
“Alex,” Jo begins. “Hot Yacht Chef,” she adds, which makes everyone laugh. “When we met, my world was so small. You walked into my life at the worst possible time.” She pauses to take a deep breath, giving Alex a watery smile that has me seconds away from ugly sobbing. “You asked me once if I believed in fate. I didn’t. Not then, anyway. But fate didn’t care if I believed in it or not. It kept throwing you in my way—at Mitch’s, the condo, at work. It gave me exactly what I needed.Youwere exactly what I needed. Before I met you, I never knew how big my life could be...”
I wonder what Ollie makes of all this. When I turn to look, I find he’s already watching me. When his eyes meet mine, I freeze, and before I can smile, or nod, or raise an eyebrow, he turns away,returning his focus to Alex and Jo again. His thoughts have never been more impenetrable.
After the ceremony, our little party disperses for the reception, which will take place at Jo and Alex’s restaurant. I lose sight of Ollie but don’t go looking for him. I’ll wait until the reception. It’ll probably be better to have a few drinks in me before I find him and ask him to talk.
I head in the direction of Jo’s condo, where I need to grab a few things to drive over to the reception. As I walk down the breezeway, I rehearse everything I want to say to Ollie in my head.
“Wait up! I’m coming with you,” a voice hollers after me.
“Me too!” a second says.
“Shotgun!” cries a third.
I’m suddenly flanked by teenagers. Mia, Kitty, and Greyson look so grown-up in their dresses. They’re chattering a mile a minute, the conversation swirling around me so fast I can hardly keep up.
“Who says any of you is invited to ride with me?” But truthfully I don’t mind. It would be more entertaining than driving alone.
“I’m riding with you even if it means sneaking into the trunk,” Greyson says. “No way I’m getting stuck in the man van with Dad and Jo.” She bounces up and down as she walks alongside me. “Nina! Do you think I can live with you for a few months? Just until they get over the honeymoon phase?”
“Absolutely not,” I say. “Not that I don’t think you’d be an excellent roommate, but I’m... in between places at the moment.”
“Are you homeless?”
“Technically, yes,” I say.
“We can live in your car,” Greyson says. “It’ll be great. You can take the back seat. I don’t need much room.”
“As lovely as that sounds, I’ve sold my car,” I say.
We step into Jo’s condo. A minute later, Jo’s sister opens the door and pokes her head in. “Are these three bothering you?”
“Always. But it’s all right. They want to ride with me over to the restaurant,” I say.
Beth glares at the three of them. “Nice try, girls, but you’re not getting out of photos. Get back up that beach right now.”
Greyson and Kitty groan, but Mia laughs. “Told you it would never work. C’mon, let’s go pose like the good little nieces we are.”
“I’m not a niece!” Greyson says.
“You’remyniece now,” Beth says.
