"Oh, but that's going to take solooong," I said, stepping past the biggest pile. "Would you like some help?"
Lotz-Moore looked at me up and down, assessing me. "Suit yourself," he said and stepped back into his apartment.
"I guess we're helping," Boner said, his tone bland.
Jules muttered something about people being ungrateful that they bought the packages this far, but grabbed up an armful and carried them inside.
As expected, the apartment was an ordinary two-bedroom place. Kitchen on one side, living area on the other, a couple of bedrooms down the back.
"Where do you want them?" Boner asked, placing his boxes on the dining table.
"There is fine," Lotz-Moore said with a grunt. He stomped over to the kitchen and yanked open a drawer. The knife he pulled out made me shiver again. For a minute I thought he was going to use it on one of us.
Instead, he sliced through the tape that sealed one of the boxes.
"What the fuck?" He reached in and pulled out a cardboard box. Squinted at it. The photo along the side was of a black dildo. Shaking his head, he sliced open another box.
This one contained a couple of cock rings, in cheerful colors.
"Looks like you won the lottery," Boner said, grinning. "You planning on opening a sex shop?"
"I didn't order any of this," Lotz-Moore growled.
Archer and Jules continued carrying in box after box.
Lotz-Moore was becoming angrier and angrier as he opened more and more boxes.
Personally, I'd never seen so many adult toys in my life. Everything from clit stimulators to inflatable women with a long-suffering expression on their faces. They were all scattered around Lotz-Moore's apartment.
A few boxes remained unopened when he tossed down the knife onto the tabletop and said, "Take it back.”
Jules stared at him. "Say what now?"
"I said, take it back," Lotz-Moore said again. "There's been a mistake. I didn't order any of it. Get rid of it."
"I don't think you can return them when the box is open," Jules said, chewing on a piece of gum. "Besides, we aren't paid to take them away. Just to deliver them. Sorry, man," he shrugged and gestured for Archer to proceed him out the door.
"You can't leave all this here," Lotz-Moore said, starting to look slightly desperate. "I don't care what you do with it. Get rid of it." He glanced at me and Boner, as if we were his servants.
"I don't need any of that when I have what I'm packing," Boner said, patting the front of his pants. "Come on, babe. It's time you found out."
I whined, "But we can't just leave him alone with all of these…" I widened my eyes as if I couldn't bear to say the words before whispering, "Sex toys."
Lotz-Moore actually looked grateful for a moment. It didn't last long.
"Take them with you," he insisted.
"Well," I said slowly, inching toward the pile of boxes, "I guess I could take a couple of them. That'll save you some trouble, right?"
He gave a dismissive wave with his hand. "Whatever. Take what you want."
Your life,I thought.Don't mind if I do.
"Mr. Lotz-Moore." Cass stopped in the doorway and stared at the scene in front of him, like he had no idea what was going on. How he wasn't laughing his ass off right now, I didn't know.
"Who the hell are you?" Lotz-Moore asked.
"My name is Agent Stone," Cass said, "I'm with the FBI. I'm investigating a case of extensive insider trading. Do you have a few minutes?"
